


Half-Life: Dilemma

by lechechu



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Alien Technology, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mind Games, Mind Manipulation, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24032287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lechechu/pseuds/lechechu
Summary: We've only heard of Azian's demise back at Black Mesa. Or was it possibly a ruse?
Relationships: Eli Vance & Azian Vance, Eli Vance/Azian Vance
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Relativity

_ You remember my wife, Azian, don’t you? That picture, and  _ **_Alyx_ ** _ , were all I managed to carry out of Black Mesa. _

She snapped awake, eyes gazing along the emptiness of their room. The gentle hue of blue light cascaded along the wall to her right, made proper by the aquarium that had been brought years prior. The water bubbled and gurgled from the filter fan, yet nonetheless provided accurate supply of oxygen to the marine life to take care of. The fish swam with grace, mindlessly but mindful of one another; avoiding intersections of one’s path to crash into. Dark eyes surveyed those aquatics before her mind settled on one thing only.

Her daughter. 

Slowly removing herself from the bed, silk nightgown draped over her body, before her feet slipped into slippers of the same material, eventually leaving the bedroom to head out into the adjoining hall. Hung on the walls - various memorabilia of the culture she came from. Glass sculptures upon shelves, or pictures of her originality, at the steps of some grand palace in the East. Among those pictures also were awards given to her, teenage years passed since the last classical dance she performed before earning her degree. An old past not relative to the now present. She stood amongst that neutral hallway, shifting her feet on the beige carpet before eventually walking towards the one door she intended to check. Slowly turning the doorknob, dark eyes gazed into the perpetual darkness, only for her worries to be settled to the nightlight still in use.

A gentle ray of sunshine compared to the dark pit of previous evolution. Her eyesight settled upon the crib within, relieved that the youngling inside was still presently fast asleep; only small coos to emanate within in time with gentle snores. Returning to the hall to save her daughter the disturbance, Azian lightly leaned her head against the door - fluffed hair outlining the face of the distressed mother. Soon those dark eyes reopened, only for them to settle upon the outline of a man on the opposite end of the hallway, towards the small family’s established kitchen. Piercing, glowing blue eyes stared at her, causing the young woman to fall back against the wall in shock - only for her senses to come to term.

And for herself to still be acquainted within her bed.

She sat there, distantly staring into the aquarium before eventually getting up, paying no mind to putting on her slippers this time around. She left the bedroom once more and gazed out to the hall, only for her heart to begin their beats with density - among the light on within the kitchen. Azian momentarily checked on her daughter’s room, only to find her worries to drastically increase as she was no longer inside her crib. The woman then rushed to the kitchen, before halting in place at the sight of her husband placing a plate of breakfast eggs and a sippy cup in front of his daughter before he too caught sight of his wife.

“Azian? … Are you okay?”

“ _ I… Y-Yeah I just thought, I was going to be the one to make you breakfast. _ ”

“Well, I woke early for a meeting and you were still asleep, so I let you rest more. Besides, Alyx was whining for her breakfast, I didn’t mind making her some.” Going over to his wife, Eli had kissed her just above her temple before heading to wash his hands, due to the stickiness of spilling OJ while refilling their baby’s cup. Quietly rubbing the side of her face, Azian then approached her daughter, wiping her face free of egg once she delved into it. She could hold her own utensils, but not stable enough. Getting a slight coo from the young Vance left Azian’s worries to melt away. 

It was a dream, and only but a dream. Tenderly, Azian ran her fingers through Alyx’s silkened hair, before her lips pressed against her succulent cheeks, hearing a slight gurgle to leave her daughter’s mouth from the joy sparked towards the action. Eating scrambled eggs while getting love and attention from her mother seemed like a good day. The mother then glanced over to her husband upon the thought that sprung in her mind.

“ _ You said you woke early for a meeting. A meeting with who _ ?”

“Oh, who do you think?”

“ _ Again? Doesn’t he ever leave you alone _ ?”

“Azian, he’s the administrator. Frankly, I think we’re the only department he damn well  _ cares _ about that he has to check in every five minutes. He wants to discuss some paperwork and about a potential new test coming up. If he has to call me in, well… I’d say it’s something big.” Eli lightly dried his hands with a kitchen cloth before heading into the living room to collect his identification tag and lab coat. Azian simply rolled her dark eyes before following after him, crossing her arms.

“ _ He always says it’s ‘something big’ yet nothing ever happens that’s big enough to warrant a huge success of data. I think he’s just using you for publicity to keep those handy checks from the government coming in. _ ”

“Well, if those checks are coming in, then  _ we _ still have a job.” Eli slipped his lab coat over his shoulders before approaching up to his wife, tenderly holding her waist with one arm. He pressed another kiss to her temple before lifting her chin with a finger to have her look at him.

“... I know you don’t like it here, Azian. I don’t pretend to not notice. I know you wanna take Alyx and travel the world and have her learn better that way than… sitting her down and reading her books all day. And I know being cooped up down here is driving you crazy but we have to make sacrifices. Without Black Mesa, we’d be homeless. It’s the only place we can earn a stable paycheck while doing the job we love.”

“ _ Doing the job  _ **_you_ ** _ love, Eli. I enter those labs, and the men look at me with deceit. Like I’m the town witch who should be burned at the stake simply for proving their experiments wrong. _ ”

“They just hate you being smarter than them. They’re trying to hide it.”

“ _ Well they’re not trying hard enough, are they? _ ”

“Terrible.” Eli smiled before moving to kiss Azian on the lips, before pulling away once his watch beeped. Gazing to the time on his wrist, the two had sighed in disappointment before glancing to Alyx as she babbled for more eggs.

“I gotta go. Maybe go take a walk or something - I’m sure Alyx could use the sunshine too.” Eli planted another kiss to his wife’s lips before attaching his tag to the breast pocket of his lab coat, eventually heading towards the door to leave. Azian sighed before glancing over to her young daughter who was getting fussy upon the lack of eggs on her plate. 

“ _ Alyx, do you want to go for a walk? _ ”

“NUH!” Alyx called out, leaving Azian to snort in amusement.

“ _ Alright! We won’t go for a walk. _ ” Azian chuckled before heading back into the kitchen to serve more breakfast to her daughter. Within the hour, the wife was back to cleaning up the dorm, letting her daughter stay busy by playing with old toys that were in need of replacement. Yet, that replacement never came. Simply put, Alyx refused to have her toys taken away. Made for unnecessary drama. 

Quietly panting as she scrubbed out the tub, Azian lightly sighed as her arms hurt from the elbow grease she had to put in, due to the caked on soap scum. Hair tied up with a clip and dressed comfortably, dark eyes slowly closed as she paused to take a rest, listening to Alyx babble in the other room. Azian smiled and babbled back, only for her daughter to babble even louder to perhaps get her point across. 

Drama. 

Azian giggled at her daughter’s cute behavior, a smile to creep along her lips as she returned to scrubbing the bathtub. Seeing as it was looking a lot cleaner, the young mother soon paused at the conversation Alyx was babbling about. She seemed different in tone, almost irritated. A couple of words she did recognize from her inconsistent noises, a denial or refrain. 

“ _ Alyx _ ?” Azian called from the bathroom, only for silence to be her response. Slowly standing up from the tiled floor in the bathroom, the young mother removed the latex gloves from her hands and set it aside, moving to head into the living room to see what her daughter was being fussy about. Heading down the hallway at a slow pace, the dark-haired woman then came to the corner and glanced into the other room, before feeling her heart drop at the sight before her.

“ _ Oh my god… _ ” Furniture was suspended in anti-gravity, along with various toys her daughter was reaching to grab, yet only evaded her delicate fingers to spin off into that buoyancy. Rushing to grab a hold of her daughter, Azian soon rushed out of their dormitory, slamming the door behind her. Once the door had closed, the furniture and picture frames had smashed to the floor, and for Alyx’s toys to finally bust upon impact. 

“ _ I’m telling you Eli, everything was-- was floating! Alyx’s toys, the couch, the chairs, everything! See for yourself, everything is probably upturned! _ ” Trying to explain, Azian watched as her husband opened the door to their living arrangements, only for confusion to fall along their faces. Nothing seemed out of place - no shards of glass or upturned chairs. Eli entered in, slowly searching the rooms to find nothing of what his wife was talking about. The young mother continued to stay outside, carrying Alyx as she was paying no mind to the strange experience, only playing with her mother’s box necklace to keep her busy in the meantime.

Eli searched their bedroom, the baby’s room and included the living room, yet didn’t find a single thing to have been changed. Glancing to his wife down the hall, he tenderly rubbed at his stubble beard in question before moving to head out to her. 

“Honey, there’s nothing changed in there. Nothing’s broken or missing.”

“ _... Impossible. I heard everything break inside when I left. _ ”

“Well… I don’t know what to tell you, Azian, but nothing’s out of place. Are you sure something like that happened? Maybe the bleach fumes got to you when cleaning the bathroom, it’s not very ventilated in there--”

“-- _ You don’t believe me? _ ” Silence befell over the area between them, as Eli tenderly scratched the back of his head before venting as Azian simply turned and went back inside the door, slamming the door in her husband’s face. 

“Azian!”

“ _ Just go back to work! _ ” Heterochromia eyes blinked lightly before Eli lightly shrugged and shook his head, moving to head back to the meeting his wife had previously pulled him away from. She stood there, within the hallway, almost too afraid to head back into the living room for her daughter to play. Slowly, she stepped back into it, glancing at the previously placed furniture of their small home, completely untouched. Had she truly imagined it?

Azian soon set Alyx back down to her toys as she babbled in want, taking hold of the small blocks and trying to place them into the correct shapes on the board. Sitting down beside her daughter, the young mother kept an eye and ear out, feeling compelled to stay near Alyx as much as possible. She knew the house had to be finished in cleaning - yet the experience she went through made her feel uneasy.

She felt… watched. 

Unsure of herself, Azian then glanced back to Alyx, watching her pay no mind to anything else but her toys. Lightly inhaling, the dark-haired woman then crawled over to a cabinet and pulled open the small doors, taking out a stringed instrument. Perhaps playing her old guqin would settle her mind at ease. Touching the strings lightly and plucking them to make sure they were still in tune, the young mother than began to play, her nails flicking over the strings to make a simple song emanate into the space.

Alyx watched her mother play and held onto her toys, staring at the strange-looking, boarded instrument. She couldn’t remember ever seeing such a contraption, let alone hear music being played from it. It sounded like a mixture of a guitar - along with a music box at some points. Either way, it kept her daughter intrigued and still, for once. Azian tenderly plucked the strings, the tone of stress or sadness to envelop the notes - what had happened was leaving through those delicate strings, leaving the mother to finally relax her senses, and for the tone to change into a different one.

Curiosity, interest, an old story. Azian gazed down at her daughter who was lightly wiggling in her seat, a smile to curl along her lips before they opened to sing in Mandarin, smiling as Alyx grew confused with the strange language. Continuing to play the guqin, the young mother continued to sing for her daughter, plucking the strings in a rhythmic dance, similar to the spoken tones of a music box. Grinning as Alyx began to babble, almost in imitation to her mother’s translation of another language, Azian giggled lightly to her daughter’s curiosity, small hands tenderly reaching to pluck the strings as well.

_ I don’t know what happened. _

“You said everything was floating. Was there… anyone else in the room, or was it just you and Alyx?” Hours dripped far into the night, as Azian was being questioned by her husband. They both sat in the kitchen, enjoying a cup of liquor to ease the tension once Alyx had been put to sleep in her crib. It was getting quite late, and an established bedtime wasn’t in need to be discarded.

“ _ Am I being interrogated right now _ ?”

“No, I just want to try and understand. I mean… the entire furniture in the house floating, is kind of hard to imagine when I wasn’t there. I don’t know what you saw, honey, only the fact that everything was still in it’s place when I left in the morning.” Lightly massaging her temples, Azian stared down at her cup, half-empty of white wine. 

“ _ Maybe you’re right. Maybe it was just the fumes of the bleach I used. _ ” The young mother moved to sip the wine, glancing as Eli had approached her side, hand lightly caressing hers. Glancing over to her husband, dark eyes had closed once he planted a kiss to her forehead. Staring up at the other, another kiss was placed onto her lips before she leaned her head against Eli’s chest, being embraced. She inhaled the familiar scent of her husband before feeling his hand on top of her head, fingers tenderly moving strands away from her face.

“Why don’t you bring Alyx down to the labs tomorrow? It’ll be nice to get out of the dorm for once. Maybe swing on by to Anomalous. Gordon hasn’t seen her in awhile, I’m sure he won’t mind.” Eli looked down at his wife, smiling lightly in amusement as she just gave a simple shrug, before planting another kiss on top of her head. 

“Let’s go to bed.” Eli patted her back before moving to take their cups to the sink, disposing of the liquor to make sure Alyx didn’t mistake it for apple juice in the morning. Azian went to the bedroom and settled into the mattress, cuddling with her husband as they would need to get up early tomorrow. Mostly because of Alyx’s internal clock is not exactly in tune with theirs.

She was young and full of energy, so it was understandable. 

As the night crept along, Azian snapped awake and sat up on that mattress, no longer being cuddled by her husband as he had rolled over in his sleep. Panting lightly, the young mother softly rubbed her face as she had woken from yet another nightmare. She had been getting plenty, over the course of a couple of weeks now, and it had always been the same thing. Her husband, explaining that he only managed to carry a picture and their baby out of Black Mesa. She didn’t know why it had scared her so much - only the fact that she wasn’t included into the mix. 

Why wasn’t  _ she _ taken out of Black Mesa with them?

“Hey,” Hearing a whisper off to her right, Azian glanced to Eli as he had tenderly touched her arm, “You okay?”

“ _ Yeah… just had a nightmare. Maybe I shouldn’t drink before bed. _ ” Lightly chuckling, Eli then groaned as his alarm went off, turning to shut it off. Azian yawned lightly as it was time to get up either way, moving to sit on the edge of the bed to put on her slippers. She then paused as she heard Alyx crying, before sighing lightly.

“ _ Baby’s up. I’ll get her. _ ” Azian then got up and trudged out of the bedroom, still exhausted from the previous nights of little to no sleep. Eli vented in and rubbed his face free of sleep as his wife headed to check on Alyx, moving to get dressed into his work attire. Entering her daughter’s room, Azian then paused at the sight before her, hyperventilating as the shadow of a man stood there, looming over Alyx’s crib.

“ _ Eli! ELI! _ ” Screaming for her husband, Azian then vented in as the man had disappeared, rushing to grab Alyx and pull her away, holding her close. Just as she backed up to the door, Eli came to see what was wrong, gazing around before looking at his wife and crying baby. 

“ _ T-There was a man in here! He was over by her crib! _ ” Looking towards the crib, Eli then turned on the light, searching the small space for any sign of intrusion. He then checked the front door for possible evidence of a break-in, only to find the entrance to be locked and secured per usual. Azian tried to calm Alyx down, moreso herself from the experience. Approaching back to his wife, the father couldn’t make out what she could possibly be seeing, leaving him to scratch the back of his head in thought. 

Deciding to leave the dorm for the day, Azian dressed Alyx in comfortable yet cute clothes, following her husband through the labs and showing her daughter all the knobs and buttons that did science things, in Layman's terms. Reality was, they controlled the frequencies and mechanisms that went into the Anti-Mass Spectrometer. Sector C was thankfully not entirely busy, most were sitting around reading the data or comparing notes.

“Gordon! Come over here.” Waving the young physicist over, Eli watched as Gordon approached the couple and their baby, holding a clipboard with a few documents on it. 

“Look how big Alyx has gotten. Starting to look more and more like her mother.”

“ _ Can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult, Eli. _ ” Azian shot him a look, leaving Gordon to smile at their bickering. 

“I’m not insulting you, it’s the truth. Besides, I’ll be lucky if she has my smarts. Which she’s starting to.”

“ _ Ignore my husband, Gordon - he’s still upset at the fact that his daughter might surpass him one day. _ ” Azian smiled smugly, leaving Dr. Freeman to chuckle lightly and nod, as Eli pouted some to his wife’s own insult. Yet, nonetheless, accepted it. After all, it might be the truth one day - Alyx was surely showing her talents at such a young age. Pretty soon, she would start talking coherent sentences then solving science’s greatest questions. Like what exactly is in the container of ‘ _ I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter _ .’ If it’s not butter, what is it?

“She’ll get into Harvard one day. Be a physicist like her old man, then maybe win a Nobel Peace Prize.”

“ _ Big dreams you have for her, but you should let her pick her own dreams. _ ” 

“Playing hooky again, Freeman?” Azian blinked before glancing as a voice spoke out behind them; a voice with authority. Once her dark eyes settled upon the man at the doorway, did her peaceful mood get ruined. The administrator came up to them, glancing to the babbling Alyx before glancing back to Gordon.

“Shouldn’t you be calibrating the Spectrometer?” Azian then glanced at the Freeman once he lowered his head and looked down to the clipboard in his hands. The young mother then inhaled and glanced over to Dr. Breen.

“ _ He’s taking a break. _ ”

“He just  _ had _ one. And I don’t ever recall announcing a ‘ _ Bring your daughter to work day _ ’ either. She shouldn’t be amongst these machines. She might touch one of them and ruin a day’s worth of work.” Wallace huffed before glancing back to Gordon to give him a warning look before heading off to whatever lab he could stick his nose into. Azian inhaled sharply before sighing as she tried to calm her eternal hatred for such an inconsiderate man.

“ _ I don’t understand how he’s still your boss. He treats you like machines among the machines, what good is working for him if he’s just going to overwork all of you? _ ”

“Like I said, honey, he’s the one that signs our checks. Maybe you can take Alyx up to Sector A, get a bit of sunshine… and maybe avoid the dark pit that’s walking around down here.” Eli huffed and moved over to his wife, giving her forehead a kiss, eventually moving to kiss his young daughter.

“We have to get to work.”

“ _ Fine, I’m sure Alyx would like to see if there’s any frogs out there, anyway. See you later, Gordon. Unfortunately, keep on your toes. You may be intelligent, but being young is your downfall. _ ” Azian watched the bearded scientist give a nod and a salute before heading off with Eli to recalibrate the machines.

Taking Alyx up to the surface sector, only one thought came to mind before it had spilled out of Azian’s mouth. 

“ _ Crap _ .” Azian vented as it was pouring rain, hardly an environment to soak up the sun’s rays, but rather the elements that cascaded down from the clouds. Sticking her small hand out, Alyx cooed at the water that dripped down her arm, before shaking it away. Setting her youngling down to the gravel, the young mother watched as Alyx plopped onto her bottom, obviously discouraged from the rain proving a hindrance in their original plan. Sitting down by her daughter, dark eyes glanced up at the cloud-covered sky, humming to herself.

“ _ Pretty big cloud above us. Yet it carries this much rain. Way more denser than those marshmallows up there. Honestly, we’re in a desert, how can we possibly get this much rain? I hope Albuquerque isn’t underwater at this point. _ ” 

“Albuwerwe.”

“ _ Albuquerque, Alyx. But yes, you get the gist. _ ” Azian giggled lightly and lightly fixed her daughter’s hair, moving it away from her face. She was awfully cute, more cuter than she could have asked for. Staring out to the torrents of rain that showered over the New Mexican desert, the young mother then glanced as Alyx crawled in it, squeaking as she was getting soaked.

“ _ Alyyyx… great, now you get a bath tonight. So don’t complain when the time comes. _ ” Azian grinned before getting up and moving out into the rain, hiking her shoulders up at the strange sensation of rain pattering along her body. It wasn’t necessarily cold, but the feeling of the rain along her exposed neck and arms left goosebumps to spread. Helping her daughter stand up on her two feet, she then began to dance with her - or rather wiggle in place. 

Liking the activity, Alyx lightly bounced on her heels, giggling as the rain continued to soak them to the bone. This was the closest thing to getting sprayed with a sprinkler, especially during the current hotter months. The heat was only going to get worse from her, so it was rather relaxing being able to enjoy some different weather for a change. Her daughter seemed to like it, and that’s all that mattered. After some time of playing in the rain, Azian hummed as the cloud was beginning to move on, sunlight beginning to peek through to the drenched land.

Figures, in the span of 15 minutes, the desert weather would change. Moving over to the spot where the sunlight shone through, Azian laid in the dirt with her daughter, to at least dry off. She placed Alyx on her stomach, letting her sit there and contemplate life, taking in the wonders of the small world.

“ _ I would love for you to see places outside of this one but… we can’t right now. _ ” Staring up at her daughter, Azian smiled as she curiously looked around, letting the sun’s rays dry their clothes off as everything became brighter and no longer a dull gray. Deep down, however, Azian couldn’t help the feeling still left in the pit of her stomach.

Why was she seeing strange things?

What happened a day prior, including this morning, left her to be worried. The nightmares, the strange anti-gravity they experienced, to the man standing over Alyx’s crib; they all didn’t make sense yet was one after the other in happenings. Alyx…  _ seemed _ to forget it ever happened, or just didn’t want to respond to it. Frankly, it made Azian worried. If she was experiencing it and was not responsive, it would show up in other ways. Nightmares perhaps. She would lose sleep, and get illnesses from a result of it. 

Was this a warning? A sign of things to come? But what was to come? Quietly sighing, dark eyes had closed, hands tenderly gripping onto her daughter as she wasn’t sure of ever letting Alyx out of her sight. Once the sunshine had dried their clothes, Azian had decided to take her back downstairs, and back to the dormitories. She couldn’t avoid that place forever, otherwise what would be the point in paying for it? 

Slowly she entered those living arrangements, finding nothing to be out of place at least. She closed the door behind her, lingering there momentarily before taking Alyx into the bathroom to run a warm bath. Since they had played in the rain, their hair felt quite crummy, and was in need of a good wash. Letting the bathtub fill up with water, Azian then carried her young daughter into her room, grabbing some fresh clothes and a couple of bath toys for her to play with. 

Deciding to turn on the radio to fill the background noise, Azian smiled at the oriental music that played out, before moving to undress Alyx, cooing back at her once her baby babbled. Once she was undressed, the mother then gave her a toy to play with as she too got undressed, removing her crusted shirt and bra before unzipping her pants. Once she was fully nude, Azian took hold of her daughter and entered the bath once it was full, settling her inside carefully. 

“ _ There we go. Is that warm? _ ” 

“Bah!”

“ _ Good. _ ” Azian smiled before moving to gently wet her hair, lightly picking out some sticks that managed to get stuck within. Listening to her young daughter babble and have a conversation with her rubber ducky, the young mother poured some soap into her hair, swishing it backwards to prevent it from getting into her eyes. Doing the same for herself, she had wet her dark hair before scrubbing soap through her strands, massaging her scalp some with her fingertips. 

“ _ Alyx, look look. _ ” Grinning some, she then decided to spike her hair up into a mohawk for her daughter, giggling as Alyx squealed in joy, trying to do the same for herself. Helping her out, Azian grinned as they were twinning, before hearing the entrance to their dorm open.

“Azian?”

“ _ In the bathroom! Come look, Eli _ !” Azian smiled as her husband came to the doorway, chuckling at the sight before him. His wife and daughter, with soapy mohawks. 

“What are you two doing?”

“ _ We’re aliens, we come in peace. Beep boop. _ ” 

“Beep boop!” Alyx called out to her father, leaving him to shake his head and chuckle more. Azian looked at their daughter and snickered as her mohawk was slowly drooping due to gravity, moving to go and fix it before eventually taking some body soap to clean the rest of her. 

“What do you want for dinner tonight?”

“ _ Oh I don’t know. Alyx is a bit of a picky eater. _ ”

“She gets that from you.”

“ _ Oh ha ha. But you’re right, damn it, _ ” Azian snorted before humming in thought, “ _ I don’t know, let’s just order something and call it a day. I’m way too tired to cook tonight. _ ”

“Then what’s for dessert?”

“ _ Seriously, do I have to pick everything? _ ”

“No, I got it.” Eli chuckled as his wife had asked what he wanted, leaving him to simply smirk and quirk a brow. Azian watched him before looking to Alyx as she squealed loudly and babbled as she watched her rubber ducky float by. The young mother then glanced up to her husband again as he stared to her, almost taking a peek at what she had to offer. Narrowing her dark eyes, she then took the bar soap and chucked it at him, causing him to dodge it and for Alyx to squeal in laughter.

Pervert.


	2. Stereophonics

Quietly washing the dishes after a hearty meal, Azian listened as her husband was reading Alyx a book, trying to get her to fall asleep after having a long day of play. So far, it was working, as the youngling’s eyes began to droop and close, feeling the vibrations of her father’s voice emanating from his chest against her ear providing that lulling factor even more. Soon, her eyes closed completely, leaving Eli to stop his reading and smile, giving a soft kiss to the top of her head. 

Carefully setting the book upon the end-table, the father had picked up his daughter slowly, to not stir her from her peaceful sleep. Once he managed to get her in his arms, Eli then took Alyx back to her room to get settled into her crib, tucking her in. Smiling as she gave a small coo of comfort, he quietly shut off the light and left the room, returning back to the living room to put away the book he read.

“Baby’s asleep.”

“ _ Good. _ ” Azian smiled some as she was busy washing dishes, setting the finished ones on the rack to dry. Approaching up to his wife, Eli had then embraced her from behind, softly setting his chin on her shoulder. He then moved to whisper into her right ear.

“You’re getting shorter.” Scoffing and elbowing him some, Azian huffed lightly to his teasing, hearing him move over to her left ear now.

“But you’re my shorty.”

“ _ Āiyā _ _. _ ” Azian giggled and placed another dish onto the rack before pausing as her husband’s hands cupped her waist. She then elbowed him again, causing him to grunt and chuckle, eventually moving to stand next to her and dry the dishes she placed onto the rack. It was nice and peaceful, a complete difference from earlier. Dinner was messy and loud, but now some peace and quiet subdued that original chaos. Luckily the mess was easily cleaned up, and now the evidence of that dishevel was no longer around.

“Are you going back to work tomorrow?”

“ _... Well, I figured on your days off, I’d take a break from parenting and give you the reign for a little while. After all, I’m left here all day to take care of Alyx while you have fun. _ ”

“Science isn’t fun, it’s just as equally demanding.”

“ _ At least with science, it’s equally as fun as cleaning up as it is with making the mess. Not like here. _ ” Azian snorted and set another washed dish on the rack, cleaning her hands free of soap, squeezing the sponge free of leftovers. Eli dried the last dish before leaning against the counter, gazing to his wife. The young mother simply dried her hands with a kitchen towel before glancing back to her husband.

“ _ Besides, I think that’s just  _ **_your_ ** _ department. My department is much more fun. People actually like me there. _ ” 

“Oh, they like you down in Sector C. What about Gordon? He likes when you come over.”

“ _ He only sees me for like 5 seconds before your douchebag of a boss sends him on his way. I swear, he’s gonna wind up going crazy down here if they give him so much work that they can do themselves. He may be fresh out of college, but he should know he’s being taken advantage of. _ ” Azian rolled her dark eyes before setting the kitchen towel on the edge of the sink. Eli simply chuckled and nodded.

“He might just like the extra work. Today was a slow day, anyway, and sometimes Gordon gets very,  _ very _ bored. He’s a bit of a prankster when he’s bored.”

“ _ Then maybe he needs a girlfriend to keep him settled and focused. _ ” 

“Oh yeah, like you do with me?”

“ **_..._ ** _ okay, or at least  _ **_try_ ** _ and keep him focused and settled. Anyway, I know my ways of getting you settled. _ ”

“Like how?” Eli then blinked as his wife smacked her own bottom, causing him to snort and chuckle, suppressing his laughter as to not wake the baby. Azian giggled and smiled as she was given a kiss and a hug, lingering in the warm embrace of her better half. As the night crept along, Azian slowly turned over onto her back as she slept, hoping to get a good night’s rest before she would return to the lab that morning.

Instead, another sleepless night.

She stared to the ceiling in wonder, lightly venting as the blue light from the aquarium cast along that same wall, the gentle gurgle of the water leaving her to be exhausted, but not necessarily ready to enter sleep. The clock had turned to midnight, and soon she got out of bed. Putting on her slippers, Azian had softly scratched her head as she opened the door of her bedroom, stepping outside.

Only for her stomach to drop as she did, falling from the door frame of her room and straight onto the metal walkway of some… unknown place. Grunting from the impact, Azian panted and lifted her head, hyperventilating to the sight before her. Some chamber, not like that of any Black Mesa sector she’s ever seen. A gigantic chasm or sphere all around her, with an unknown structure in the middle. It sparked and singed nearby stakes with green… kinetic energy, as what looked like to be objects pertaining to household debris circling around it in anti-gravity. 

What was this place?

Softly inhaling, Azian stumbled to her feet and took a few steps back, glancing around as she could hear her name. Was it her daughter? No, not female, male. Eli? It was echoed, far-off, hardly reachable,  _ warped _ even. Inhuman, something told her it was inhuman. To see a sight like this… was inhuman.

Staring at the structure built in the middle, the young mother then backed up as a beam of energy snapped to her position, causing her to raise her hands for defense, only for that kinetic energy to quickly dissipate, and hardly touch her, or rather something had stopped it from reaching her entirely. Slowly lowering her arms, Azian gazed to the massive formation - slowly starting to realize how familiar it looked.

A certain strain of virus; a bacteriophage.

Hearing noises behind her, Azian turned to find the metal walkway to be repaired, levitating into place for her to cross into some lots of apartments. Heart beat rapidly, as she slowly stepped over the floating pieces of metal, grabbing onto the apartment door handle once one had slipped away, her slipper to fall off her foot in the process - and float away into the oblivion. Opening the door and stumbling inside, Azian backed up as the door had then slammed behind her. 

She gazed around the apartment, as it was completely different than what she was expecting. A lot of it was of European decoration, Russian maybe? Even so, why was something like this  _ here _ , when it should be in Europe? Not in some gigantic chamber? Glancing around the room, Azian then took hold of a vase, for protection, slowly trudging through the rooms, unsure if anyone was indeed inside. She tried to look out the windows, yet could only see the construct outside, as other windows were fogged over or misted. 

Approaching an open-parted door, Azian slowly grabbed onto the door handle before venting in as the door simply broke off and fell to the floor. Yet from her perspective, it was considerably the wall. The room was tipped over onto it’s side, or rather her entrance was on the ceiling. Lightly blinking her eyes from the strange phenomenon giving her vertigo, the young mother then slowly made her way inside, using the landing as a walkway, rather than try and plummet straight down towards the established floor.

Silk nightgown caught on the doorframe, Azian had tried to pull it free, in the process dropping her protective vase, watching it shatter along the floor, pieces spread out in different directions. Her hair was drifting downwards, and so was her dress from the inverted gravity, leaving her to clutch a good portion of it so it wouldn’t slip off of her body. Clenching her dark eyes shut to save her equilibrium being thrown off balance, Azian slowly moved along the landing, catching sight to another door off to the side. 

Gripping onto her nightgown and various wall-lamps that lined the area, she managed to reach the door and push it open, stepping inside as the room she was now in was right-side up, allowing for her vertigo to dissipate. Fixing her hair lightly, she flinched to the door that slammed shut behind her, Azian then glanced around the normal room, lightly inhaling as the faint sound of a radio playing filled her ears, or rather around the area. There was no given direction; stereophonics - left and right, up and down, just everywhere.

Dark eyes slowly examined the living space, unsure of what wacky trip she would be put through next. Swallowing the saliva that pooled in her mouth, the young mother stepped forward, only for the floor beneath her to crumble away like melted ice on a lake. Pulling her foot back, Azian then glanced around as the room tore apart, revealing the outside she had already previously seen. The structure and its field of anti-gravity. 

It wasn’t anything she’s ever seen before.

Quietly covering her mouth, Azian tried to keep herself contained. If anyone saw what she saw, surely this would be an immense discovery. Surely this had to be a dream - she was dreaming right now. Slowly lowering her hands, Azian then grunted as she was shoved forward, hyperventilating as she was adrift in that same buoyancy, above what seemed like a bottomless pit. She tried to grip onto objects she floated past, yet to no avail. She was practically lost out in the open. 

Clenching her eyes shut and trying to wish herself back awake, the dark-haired woman then opened her eyes once more, venting in as she was now in total darkness. She turned here and there, her bare steps echoing in that nothingness. Softly hugging herself, Azian wasn’t sure what else to do, or where to go. Where  _ could _ she go? There was nothing around.

“ **_Rise and shine._ ** ”

Freezing in place to the voice just behind her head, Azian had turned around, only for her to stumble back and her head to hit the mattress she laid on. Panting heavily, the young mother then flinched as her alarm went off, for her to get ready for the day. Looking to the ceiling, the dark-haired woman then slowly closed her eyes, sighing out in relief. Softly shifting the blanket, Eli had groaned some to the continuously beeping alarm.

Slowly moving to shut it off, Azian then laid there on the bed, petrified, unsure if she should even head into work. Lightly inhaling, the young mother then slowly sat up, glancing over to her sleeping husband before eventually moving to get off the bed, blinking in confusion. Where was her other slipper? Looking underneath the bed, she then hitched her breath as her nightgown was ripped of where she had been snagged onto. She then took off the clothing and tossed it aside, cuddling herself in the nude. 

What the  _ hell _ was going on?

Getting up and hurrying to get dressed, Azian then went into Alyx’s room to check on her, venting in relief as she was still peacefully asleep, unaware of the realistic nightmare her mother had just gone through. Grabbing for her identification tag, the dark-haired woman then left their dorm, heading down the hall to the tram system. She stood there and waited, rubbing her face free of sleep and exhaustion. Maybe a good cup of coffee might shake her jitters. 

Quietly staring down at the walkway, dark eyes then slowly upturned to the tram finally arriving at her station. Stepping on board and taking a seat, Azian patted her tag and pockets to make sure she had everything, watching the door begin to close, and for the tram system’s automation announcement to begin playing. Closing her eyes, Azian didn’t realize she had fallen asleep, only to have been woken up by a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Dark eyes opened, and she gazed up to the young physicist she spoke with the previous day. Gordon, was it?

“ _ Oh… Gordon. What’s wrong, take the wrong tram? _ ” Getting a nod from the other, Azian simply smiled and chuckled lightly, sitting up in her seat as the college student sat down across from her. 

“ _ Welcome to my world; I remember I took the wrong tram on my first day at Black Mesa. Took me about an hour to realize there’s two trams with the same number but different color codes. Why do these people have to make things so difficult? There are much more efficient ways of transportation, you know. Hitching a ride on a MTM-8 sounds like a fun way to get to work. _ ” Azian then smiled as Gordon chuckled softly, lightly sitting back in his seat as the tram began moving again. 

“ _ How are you liking Black Mesa so far? Couldn’t help but notice Breen got on you yesterday. _ ” Azian watched as the young man had shrugged and nodded. She then sat back and crossed her arms. 

“ _ How long have you been working here? 3 years? 4? _ ” Azian then watched as Gordon held up 5 fingers, leaving the mother to hum in thought. 

“ _ 5 years. Hm, you’re young, I guess you have a lot to learn. They’re gonna keep picking on you because of it, just remember to stay one step ahead and you’ll be fine. Avoid Breen as much as possible. I can swear, he hates the idea of fun. I mean look at me, I’m fun but he hates my guts. _ ” Gordon then smiled to that remark before lightly folding his hands together, forest-green eyes glancing to the floor. Watching the young man, she then smiled.

“ _ Man of few words, aren’t you? _ ” Glancing over to her, Gordon blinked lightly as Azian simply smiled before shrugging and looking out the window of the tram as they moved along the track. 

“ _ It’s alright. Talking gets you into trouble, anyway. _ ” The dark-haired woman then looked as her station was coming up to get off, moving to get up from her seat. Heading to the door, she then glanced to the young man who watched her.

“ _ Good luck finding the right tram. Hopefully you’re not too late to work. _ ” She smiled before stepping off, leaving the Freeman to endure the tram ride in silence, or at least until another scientist needed to get on. Azian clocked into her Sector, greeting some old friends that she hadn’t seen in quite some time before making her way to the break room. Coffee was definitely in need of starting her day, to endure the long, overdue work she was left behind.

Grabbing a styrofoam cup, Azian touched the pot momentarily before taking the handle and pouring the hot coffee within. Making it how she liked, the young mother thought back to what she had experienced in her dream. It had to be a real place, but where could something of that magnitude be? And that voice she heard - who was he? Sighing quietly, the dark-haired woman then turned to leave the break room with coffee in hand.

Only for her to drop and spill it as she halted in place.

Her slipper, the one she had lost, was sat pristinely on the tiled floor. Hyperventilating lightly, Azian ran out to the hallway and looked around, finding no one to linger nearby. Empty, barren, most likely everyone was at their labs doing experiments. She gazed back to the silk slipper upon the floor, lightly curling her fingers into fists. Was this some kind of prank? What in the hell was going on? Obviously she wasn’t liking the idea of waking up to nightmares every night, let alone experience completely  _ insane _ perspectives or anti-gravity. And it seemed like no one was believing her.

Slowly approaching her slipper, Azian picked it up and examined it, before turning around as she felt a presence behind her - yet only saw the brief outline of a man walking past. She went back out to the hall and looked to her right, yet found nothing to be out of place. Again, evaded. Gazing to the slipper in her hand, thumb rubbed over the material before she had entered back inside the breakroom to clean up the mess she had made upon the floor.

Something wasn’t right.

A gut feeling, something out of place or a dream-like state. Sure, she was exhausted, due to the lack of peaceful sleep she was getting, but that was only half of the story. Azian wondered if Eli was experiencing something such as this - yet she felt doubtful. He doubted her when she had told him about the furniture levitating and breaking; she wondered if he would ever experience something, now that he was alone with Alyx back at the dorm.

It was getting difficult to manage. Trying to ignore and suppress her worries, Azian made herself another cup of coffee and left the break room, slipper also in hand. She had found it, at least - and would need to keep ahold of it until the end of her shift. Entering the small lab down the hall and to the right, she turned on the ceiling lights and vented lightly. Empty, a small quaint office to do research in. She was a part of the research and development team for mechanicals, such as creating those MTM-8 Loaders to handle the heavy lifting. Kept them in shape, made repairs when needed and properly exerted their accuracy. 

Eli had made the notion of mentioning a new project he was hoping she could start on - making a robotic companion to protect Alyx. The idea sounded cute; as Black Mesa didn’t entirely welcome dogs or other pets on the premises - made too much of a mess and ran the risk of going loose in the facility, wrecking things. Of course, the only exceptions were stationary animals, such as aquatics. While they were nice, Alyx couldn’t exactly play with them - as she would promptly take them out of the tank and out in the open air. Making a robot companion however… there were no rules or regulations regarding that. 

And, it was experimental. Something her department was used to getting the ‘OK’ with. 

Azian had already begun to start on the project, removing the sheet that covered the endo-skeletal design she was going for. Similar to that of a canine, but not exactly to a T. It was small, had a lot of movement problems that needed to be fixed - a rough draft. Either way, it was work nonetheless - she was only happy that it was going to be designed for her daughter. Perhaps Isaac could help her with the mainframe before moving onto the rest of the circuitry. Anything for baby Alyx.

Scooping her hair back to clip it in place, Azian looked at the schematics she had laid out, wondering if she could make the internal workings compact without necessarily diminishing the power of the final product. All the hard work, only for the robot to shut down after taking two steps. Wouldn’t be much of a companion and a failure of a build. Of course, Azian liked those challenges - her smarts often looked at the problem in different perspectives, allowing for better understanding on how something worked. Black Mesa wanted the best of the best, and she was lucky to be one of them. 

Of course, nowadays, Black Mesa seemed to be more about money, rather than research.

She blamed Breen; he wanted to be efficient - cut corners even. Scientists like her dedicated their time and own supplies into this hard work, yet he would play it off as something he  _ himself _ could have built in a lesser amount of time. Unfortunately, as much as she preferred the silence, the same dark pit she had hoped to avoid just walked into the lab with a couple of others, perhaps business men. 

“What are you doing here?”

“... _ I work here? _ ”

“Hm, not anymore. We’re closing this space down and refurbishing it to a better, collected means of research. We already have several other labs open that deal in your expertise, so I don’t think having just you in this space is… well, very efficient. Yet, the other labs nearby don’t need the extra help, so you can just mosey back home and take care of the baby like you should be.”

“ _ Excuse me? You’re… firing me? _ ”

“I don’t like to use the term firing. More like… letting you go. Either way, I need you to pack up your things and leave. We have other matters to attend to.” Standing there in complete shock, Azian lightly inhaled to contain her anger. There was no pink slip, no forementioned warning. Just a man in a lame turtleneck telling her that she was out. All rational thought had left her, as the mother had then sucker punched the other in the face, causing the men to flinch at the sudden violence from her. She was usually soft spoken, but now to see her completely off the rails towards her former boss was… strange.

Wallace had stumbled to the floor from the hit, moving his hand up to his nose as it began to bleed. Azian vented in heavily as she exerted all of her energy into that single punch alone. He had looked up at her, narrowing his eyes before pointing a finger to her.

“You’re lucky I even like your husband well enough to let him keep working here. Otherwise you’d be screwed after what you just did.” Breen groaned lightly as he touched his nose, wondering if it was broken to some degree. Azian inhaled before turning and grabbing her stuff - documents of her builds, memorabilia from her travels or small polaroids of her family before stuffing them inside an old box, carrying it out of the room. Silence befell the area as the businessmen helped the administrator up onto his feet.

“Throw out that piece of junk she was building. And get me a towel for god sakes.”

Moving back to the station to await a tram, Azian unclipped her hair and identification tag from her lab coat, heartbeat pumping with the adrenaline that coursed through her. Had she really done that? Of course, he had it coming, for quite awhile too. But now, what was she supposed to tell Eli? She got fired and now he was supposed to be the only breadwinner of the family. Changes had to be made, maybe some things they couldn’t continue to afford would need to be cut out entirely. Sure, she could try to find work  _ outside _ of Black Mesa, maybe in Albuquerque, but the long drive to and from the facility would be strenuous and costly. 

Watching a tram approach her station to allow her to get on, Azian set her box of things down onto the seat next to her, listening to the door close. Tears began to fill those dark eyes, as she slowly stuffed her face into her hands, shaking her head lightly. She was afraid for the future. Softly sniffling and wiping the escaping tears away, the mother soon lifted her head, listening to the intercom that played the forever looping message regarding Black Mesa. 

Once she had arrived back to their dorm, Azian couldn’t find herself to enter. She could hear her husband and daughter playing inside, a completely different atmosphere to what was on her side. Her side was emptiness, silence, with the occasional droning noise of the ceiling lights that lined the hallway. Glancing down at the box of items she had, the mother then took hold of the doorknob and entered, hearing Eli stop his play of tickling Alyx and to glance at his wife in slight confusion. She slowly closed the door behind her, before gazing to the floor as Eli approached her with Alyx in his arms. 

“Azian? What’s wrong?”

Silence was all she could manage to produce, yet her mouth opened with the intent of saying something. Eli had looked her over, before heterochromia eyes settled upon the box of things she had within her hands. Old pictures, drawings from Alyx, and stuff that she collected from her college road trip days. Azian finally managed to look him straight in the eye, before tears began to fill her own.

“ _... I’m sorry. _ ” Eli had then took hold of the box and set it on the floor before wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulders, bringing her in close for an embrace. She had been sacked, most likely due to their douche of a boss. Alyx confusingly looked around as they endured a group hug, babbling lightly as she was too young to understand, only that her mother was unhappy. 

“Let me… put Alyx down for a nap and we’ll talk, okay?” Eli softly spoke, watching his dark-haired wife give a tender nod before heading to the bathroom to rinse her face and collect her feelings. Running the faucet, Azian sighed heavily before splashing her face with cold water, trying to subdue the redness in her eyes. Most was from her crying, the other percentage was from the lack of good sleep. Lingering over the sink as the water dripped from her face, caressing her nose and jawline on the way down, the young mother then gazed up to the mirror, venting in sharply to the image within.

The same place from her dream, the gigantic chasm. 

Flinching in surprise as the beam of energy shot to the mirror, it cracked from the impact, leaving Azian to stand there in shock and denial. Moving her hands to wipe the excess water free from her face, dark eyes looked over the mirror, seeing as it was completely back to normal, and no longer had shattered pieces. Touching the reflective surface lightly, Azian then slowly turned off the faucet, taking hold of a towel to press her face into. 

She was losing it, she had to be losing it.

“Azian.” Looking up from the towel, Azian watched as Eli was in the doorway. Lightly swallowing the saliva that pooled in her mouth, she then put the towel back and left the bathroom with him, moving to go sit in the living room. They sat there in silence, for the longest minute before the dark-haired woman had finally begun to talk. 

“ _ I’m seeing things… Eli. _ ”

“Seeing what?”

“ _... Places. Places that are… I don’t know, like mind tricks. And I keep having them. Everytime I go to sleep, those dreams happen and… I can’t wake up from them until I get to a certain point in location. Either I’m in… a crumbling, mind-bend of an apartment or in total darkness. There’s no telling which one is going to be which. And it’s not stress. It’s nothing I’ve ever seen before. If you saw what I saw… you’d wonder what the hell kind of place like that exists. _ ” Azian shook her head, dark eyes surveying their small, family dormitory before settling on the eyes of her husband.

“ _ And you’ll think I’m crazy but… this is what I’ve been seeing. _ ” Taking one of Alyx’s drawings and flipping it over to the back, Azian then grabbed for a blue crayon, beginning to draw on the blank sheet of paper in the image she saw. The giant chamber, the bacteriophage in the middle. She then drew green kinetic beams coming off of it, before setting down the crayons and showing the paper to her husband. Eli took the paper and looked it over in confusion, unsure of what something like it was.

“It looks like a--”

“-- _ A virus strain, I know. A bacteriophage. But I don’t understand why this dream keeps throwing me into that place. I have no recollection of ever seeing something like this before. I’ve had this dream about… two times now, but every now and then it flashes by my vision like some forgotten memory wanting to be remembered. _ ” Azian vented in and sat back on the couch, watching as Eli looked over the crudely drawn rendition of what his wife was seeing.

“Honey, this sort of looks like the Anti-Mass Spectrometer’s chamber.”

“ _ No no no, this is way bigger. Way bigger. Like… like some giant sphere of a place. _ ” Silence befell over the room, as Eli then set down the paper before gazing over to his wife. Azian watched him with concerned, worried eyes before looking away, staring to the paper he set down.

“ _ You don’t believe me. _ ”

“No no, Azian it’s not that. It’s just… I wish I could see what you’re seeing, so I can get a better understanding. It’s not that I don’t believe you, I just have no basis of properly putting two and two together upon why this could be happening to you.” Eli softly embraced his wife, tenderly pressing his lips to the dark-hair upon her head. They sat there, in silence, as the couple wondered what they could be potentially walking into. Even so, despite his wife’s nightmares and visions… he too noticed something going on with Black Mesa.

Everything was falling apart.


	3. Playing Favorites

No words were exchanged. Only their eyes focused on the television set across the room, watching some program about a dance competition involving normal individuals and celebrities of their time. Alyx was still presently asleep in the other room, undisturbed by the cultural music of the show. So much for a day off, as Azian was now forced to be back home with no means of going back to work. Of course, Azian had denied Eli ever going to face Breen by himself, and wanted to avoid further complications.

One job was okay to be lost, losing both would be quite the dilemma. 

“I got a call today from Izzy.”

“ _ About what? _ ”

“Apparently the administrator is very centered on getting a test done tomorrow. Probably to wow the competition. Anyway, I’m going in early tomorrow to help prep the machines for it, and Gordon is going to be the one in the chamber this time. Might be around 12 hours if things go according to plan, after all, they’re hell bent on pushing the machines out of their limits.”

“ _ How far from their limits? _ ”

“They’re thinking 105 percent.”

“ _ Eli, that’s way too high. You’ll be lucky not to fry the grid if something backfires. Why are they pushing so much power for this sample? _ ” Azian blinked and glanced up at her husband upon the news, to which Eli simply shrugged and sighed.

“Apparently it’s something they are absolutely sure valuable data will come of it. They didn’t tell us anything else other than to do the damn thing and stop complaining.”

“ _ Āiyā _ _ … more like a ruse to get the funding presented to better standards. Poor Gordon. I mean it’s basically all eyes on him, right? If something goes wrong? _ ” Azian turned her vision back to the television, letting her husband intertwine their fingers as they spent time together. 

“Yeah, but I trust Gordon. He may be young but he shows his intelligence quite well. He has a knack for adapting under pressure. Hell if things go right, he might be looking at a promotion.”

“ _ Yeah, like I’m sure Gordon’s thinking about moving up in the ranks for people to give him more work. Hm… I met him today, on my way to the labs. He got on the wrong tram so we talked for awhile… or rather I talked to him. I don’t even think I’ve ever heard his voice before. _ ” Eli chuckled lightly and nodded lightly, humming to himself.  
  


“Well… Gordon likes to keep to himself. I’m sure he’s just awkward being around a pretty lady like you.”

“ _ Ugh, get out of here. _ ” Azian elbowed her husband before giggling at his teasing. Her dark eyes returned to the television, before her smile had faded and the thoughts had entered her mind. She hummed lightly before tilting her head.

“ _ Gordon’s… there’s something about him that kind of… I don’t know, I get the feeling he’s in for something big. I don’t know what, but call it a hunch. _ ”

“Mother’s instinct. He’s young so you think he’s another child to be taken care of.” Eli snorted as his wife began to laugh, before leaning more closer into him. Lightly sighing in content, Azian then closed her eyes, leaning her head against her husband’s shoulder. It was comfortable, in a way. However, the more she relaxed, the more did she feel… uncomfortable. The sounds of the television faded away, as if the volume was turned down. Opening her dark eyes, the young mother blinked as the TV set was turned off, and the room was darkened to some degree. 

She was about to glance over to her husband, only for her heart to drop at the sight of a strange man in a blue suit to have taken his place. Panting shallowly, Azian watched as the bureaucrat slowly turned his head towards her, eyes illuminated within that shadowed state. Snapping awake, Azian yelped and sat up, flinching as the remote fell off of the table when she subconsciously kicked it. Looking around, the young mother then glanced to her husband who was busy making dinner for their daughter.

“Azian?”

“ _ I… what… what happened? _ ”

“... Nothing? I let you sleep on the couch because Alyx woke up.” Eli blinked and served his baby girl some steamed carrots and rice for her side dish. Panting lightly, Azian gazed around the room, glancing to the television set as a new show was on, or rather the nightly news for the evening. 

“Are you hungry?”

“ _... No I… I’m gonna take a shower. _ ” Getting up from the couch and making her way to the bathroom, Azian momentarily stared into the mirror before retracting her sight, almost afraid of what could sprout up next to her. Turning on the faucets and getting the water warm enough to endure, the young mother began to strip, trying to push the memory far into the back of her mind. 

She felt the man’s cold touch, his cold aura. A deadened expression unlike anyone she’s ever seen before. Those eyes however - were full of deceit, desire, unpredictability. Something… something  _ inhuman _ . The shivers that ran down her spine never felt so nerve-wracking, making her tremble in dropped temperature even if the water was turned to boiling hot. Steam filled the bathroom, providing a smokescreen to the nude individual within, however that didn’t stop her husband from entering. 

He looked to her, seeing her stressed state as she rolled her head some to drench her dark hair in the cascading water from the shower head. Eli crossed his arms, before lightly inhaling, managing to catch her attention.

“... Are you going to be okay being alone with Alyx when I’m gone tomorrow? You’re really starting to worry me, Azian.”

“ _... Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just… just go do the test tomorrow and I’ll see you when you get home. Don’t worry about me. _ ” Azian watched as her husband approached to give her a kiss, trying to avoid being caught in the same shower head’s drizzle before leaving her to bathe in peace. She lingered within, letting the water drape along her neck and shoulders, as a sort of massage to ease out the tension within. Unconsciously, her arms moved to cover her chest, as she felt exposed, even if no one was directly present within her bathroom. 

Usually she never closed the bath curtain, but this called for it. The urge was overwhelmingly strong, as she pulled the curtain close to block any unwanted attention - even if that attention was nowhere to be found. Applying soap to her hands to lather her hair, Azian took time to sit on the small mound within, where the usual soaps and conditioners would occupy the space. 

She wanted to cry, wanted to scream out in frustration to whatever scenario she was in. Yet, no tears came to her eyes - she felt completely devoid of feelings even if she wanted to express them. They felt like an infection, a need to bleed out. Exhausted, irritated and worried all mixed in mind and heart, with no intention of ever stopping. One thing did manage to cross her mind; Alyx originally saw the furniture floating in that anti-gravity. Yet surprisingly, she wasn’t enduring any nightmares like she was, or rather she didn’t take notice of Alyx's change in behavior. 

Was she just accepting it as normal life? That these things were happening because they were supposed to? Or was  _ someone _ protecting her from these nightmares? Surely they would have woken up to her crying these past few nights, yet only once did she cry. And that was from the outline of the shadow looming over her crib when she was sleeping. A simple disturbance maybe, an intimidation from something that shouldn’t be up close and personal. 

Azian could potentially ask her tomorrow, yet what answer was she expecting to get? The usual babble or denial of telling anything? Some fussy attitude of she prodded? Likely, she was a baby and wanted to do what she wanted. All that mattered to her was eating the food she liked, being loved and playing with her toys and trinkets. Which had then reminded her - maybe perhaps building the robot companion to protect her was going to be a key thing to make her feel at ease. She still had the schematics at least, even if Breen threw away her already long, endured work previously. 

Prick.

Lightly, Azian flexed her fist, gazing at the small bruises on them from delivering a message to his face. Honestly, she never felt better from doing that, as it was indeed long overdue. Nails were chipped however, from closing her fist tight and pressing into the palm of her hand. A manicure was in definite order.

Dark hair rinsed free of soap and body lathered in nourishing oils for her skin, Azian soon left that shower and wrapped a towel around herself, heading into the bedroom, just across the hall. She picked out some pajamas, a simple white t-shirt and gray sweatpants with the company logo on them. Checking her necklace around her neck, the young mother had sighed as it was still intact, despite what she had been going through. Tenderly playing with in between her fingers, the smaller scientist then began to dry her hair with a towel, moving to sit on the bed to rest her aching feet.

Some good rest was in order, as she wondered if she should just skip dinner and head straight to sleep. Exhaustion was winning the battle, and soon Azian laid down onto her side of the mattress, staring at the aquarium that provided some gentle zen to lull her into tiredness. Dark eyes slowly closed, and the sound of those aquatics drifted away with her consciousness.

“Azian…” Hearing the whisper of her husband, Azian slowly opened her eyes, blinking lightly in weariness as Eli loomed over her, tenderly stroking her head and dark hair. He was dressed already in his work attire and lab coat, tag already clipped to his breast pocket. Lightly inhaling, the young mother slowly stretched out her legs as they ached, before gazing up at her husband. 

“I’m going to work, okay? I’ll see you later. I love you.” 

“ _ Love you too… _ ” Azian softly closed her eyes as she was kissed on the lips, before feeling the blanket return to cover her shoulders, being tucked in by her considerate husband. She slowly slipped back into that unconsciousness, the exhaustion from having little to no sleep finally providing no nightmares to stir her awake. She didn’t realize night had passed already, and the early morning crept into the hour. Dark eyes opened once more as she heard a faint thud noise within her room, yet instead glanced over to the clock upon her nightstand. 

The time was 8:47am.

Lightly inhaling and stretching on the bed to save herself the potential problem of getting a cramp in her leg, Azian slowly sat up and rubbed her face. Everything felt dreamy, but perhaps that was only the fact that she managed to get a good night’s rest compared to the last few times. Standing up from the mattress and heading out into the hall, the young mother walked tiredly into the kitchen, blinking as a sticky note was on the coffee pot.

“ _ Freshly made. Mornin’ beautiful. Smiley face. Hm, such a dork. _ ” Azian smiled lightly before grabbing for a mug from one of the cabinets to pour herself some. At least it would warm her up, compared to the coldness of the room. It was strange; usually it was comfortable, yet now it was freezing. Once she had made her coffee, Azian blinked as she heard the soft whining of her daughter, and moved to go retrieve her from the jail cell that was her crib. 

Opening the door, the young mother then grinned as Alyx was standing up, babbling lightly once she caught sight to her mom. Azian had babbled back, before lifting her daughter up and over to carry in her arms, letting the curious baby play with her necklace some before looking around as they left her bedroom.  
  


Sitting her down with some toys for her to play with and the television on to some kiddie cartoons, Azian moved back to the kitchen to finish making her coffee, taking a sip of the warm goodness. She glanced over to Alyx, smiling as she babbled and played with her toys before eventually drawing her attention to the TV. After a few more sips of her coffee, the smaller scientist began to make breakfast for them both, settling on making some oatmeal. It had been awhile since she had made it before, and obviously she wanted to broaden Alyx’s taste buds to some better home cooking. 

Not that it was an insult to Eli’s cooking.

Waiting for the pot of milk to warm up, Azian moved to cut up a few green apple slices into small cubes for a snack, setting them down by Alyx so she could have some. Tenderly rubbing her frizzy hair, the young mother watched as small hands reached into the container and pulled out a cube of apple before noshing on the sweet goodness. 

“Num num num num…”

“ _ Num num num num num. _ ” Azian grinned and kissed her baby’s forehead before letting her eat, moving to prepare the breakfast for the day. Taking down the container of oats, honey and sliced almonds, she then moved to the fridge to take out some blueberries and strawberries to make her bowl a little more colorful and nutritious. Adding the oats to the pot of milk, Azian hummed as she measured out how much she would truly need, glancing to Alyx momentarily. Would she eat a lot of it, or no? Shrugging lightly, the dark-haired woman then added another ½ cup for good measure.

“Bah bah bah!”

“ _ Bah bah bah! _ ” Smiling as Alyx was being talkative, Azian tried to keep the conversation with her, stirring the oats some so they would fluff out evenly. Taking some time to cut up the fruit she wanted, the dark-haired woman didn’t realize that her daughter had managed to stand, gazing upwards as if someone was looking down at her. Going back to stirring the pot full of oats, the smaller scientist smiled as the youngling babbled once more, having a conversation with incomprehensible words. 

“ _ Are you talking, Alyx? Can you say mama? _ ”

“Muhm.” 

“ _ Mhm, that’s right. Can you say daddy? _ ” 

“Da… dee.” Smiling softly, Azian then lightly blinked as something red had dripped into the pot. Dark eyes slowly stared at the fluffed oats within, before her hand had gently touched the area above her lips, gazing to what was leaking from her nose. Blood, and more had seeped from her nasal cavity. 

  
  


“ _ Shit… oh sorry, Alyx, I’m going to have to remake the oats. Mommy’s having a nosebleed. _ ” Quickly removing the pot of oatmeal from the stove and placing it into the sink, Azian softly pressed a kitchen towel to her nose, trying to stop the bleeding. Still - blissfully unaware that the man in the blue suit knelt down to her child, handing her one of her toys that slowly drifted up into oblivion. Lightly flinching to the sudden rumble that shook the very dorm, the young mother gazed up to the ceiling lights as they began to flicker, threatening to give out. 

Deep down, she wondered if it was the test Eli was doing that was causing the sudden power surge. Once everything returned to normal, Azian was about to rest easy, until the room shook again, knocking her off her feet. Grunting as she smacked her head against the tiled floor, the young mother vented in and held the back of her head, panting hard as items upon the walls began to shake violently and crash to the floor; her glass sculpture bursting into tiny pieces.

Vision had gone blurry to the fall, as the lights flickered rapidly, and for part of the ceiling to collapse within the hallway, exposing live wires and scaffold. Glancing over to her youngling, Azian panted lightly as her youngling was still standing up straight, staring up at an unknown individual as her mother tried to get up onto her own two feet, her head practically feeling split open. Likely she had a concussion, and the blood that coated her hand was providing that new evidence, yet the young mother felt scared and unsure of what Alyx was doing. Gazing up to the ceiling, Azian then screamed as something fell through, just above her little girl. 

“ _ NO! _ ” 

Before the heavy object could smash her daughter into oblivion, the debris began to float just above her, caught in the nick of time. Alyx mumbled some lightly to the floating debris above her, watching it rotate in practical anti-gravity. Azian vented in and looked into the living room, watching the very same man she saw in her dream phase into the environment, gazing to the young mother with illuminated eyes. Glancing down to the small child beside him, the government man then returned his attention back to the dark-haired woman.

As the rumbling of the building stopped, some green beams of kinetic energy sparked here and there within the premises, finally allowing Azian to stand on her own two feet, bloodied hand still gripping the back of her head from when she fell. Staring at the man in her living room, the young mother lightly panted as the ceiling lights flickered and sparked over his position, while her side was relatively okay. Food and canned goods were shaken out of their cabinet holdings, and her valuable possessions shook off their places from the walls. Broken, irreplaceable.

“ _ Who… who are you… _ ?”

“ **_... One that has delved into an equally… unfortunate dilemma, such as yourself._ ** ” She shivered to the voice of the other individual, recognizing the very same from her dream. The one who told her to rise and shine, was now here amongst her living room. Now, she couldn’t tell from fact or fiction; dream from reality. Slowly moving around the table, Azian glanced at her young daughter, still threatened with the danger of the debris floating above her head.

“ _... What do you want? _ ” Azian lightly wiped her nose free of vermillion before flinching as a live wire sparked behind her, threatening anyone who dared to go near. Glancing back to the man in front of her, the young mother then flinched as he was within a few inches of her, hands folded together as he examined her over. Taking a step back from the government man, the smaller scientist grunted lightly as the back of her head pulsed with sore pain.

“ **_Upon recent established events, my views have changed to a more means of… research and development. My eh-eh-eh-employers have yet to… understand? Hm, my inquiries towards that of lesser individuals with no proper significant purpose._ ** ” Lightly pressing his fingers together, illuminated eyes then glanced over to Azian’s daughter, who was still in awe with the rubble just above her reach. One false move and everything would be dark. The young mother vented out in worry before glancing up at the government man.

“ _... She’s just a baby… what do you want with her? _ ”

“ **_... Perhaps the right way to… answer, your question, would be to direct your attention towards the dangers that lie before yourself._ ** ” Dark eyes blinked in confusion before she followed his gaze upwards, gasping as she was also a moment away from death. A strange creature, one she had not recognized, was threatening to come down on top of her. A gaping hole in it’s supposed stomach, yet lined with sharp teeth, most likely to grab hold of the victim and lock on. Eaten alive - perhaps, but death either way. Azian then gazed to the bureaucrat who moved away and approached Alyx, lightly motioning to her.

“ **_I can offer this young one help… yet my eh-eh-eh-employers refuse me to get acquainted with someone else on the verge of the same fate. However, the choice is yours to make. I can save her or, well… I’m sure you can understand the alternative._ ** ” Azian lightly inhaled as tears began to fill her eyes. Just what in the hell was going on? Where was Eli? She had hoped to God that he was alright, or at least anyone in the facility. Were they experiencing the same meltdown? Surely someone must be still alive to call for help. Yet, the choice was still hers, as the navy-blue suited man waited for her answer.

“ _ I… she’ll… be okay, right? She’ll live, and she’ll grow up. _ ”

“ **_Quite so._ ** ” Inhaling deeply, Azian lightly sniffled and grunted lightly as her head continued to bleed and ache, before she glanced back down to her daughter. Why was she even contemplating for this long? Of course she wanted her daughter to live, yet… she was afraid of dying herself. Dark eyes clenched shut before slowly opening to gaze at the man before her.

“ _... On… on one condition. _ ” The government man lightly tilted his head to the young mother’s addition, waiting to here what she has to say. Lifting her bloodied finger, Azian shook lightly - hand trembling at the realization of her fate. Yet, she kept level-headed, furrowing her eyebrows some.

“ _ She… She is never to be put into something she doesn’t want. Whatever lies before her… she has help. Always. _ ” Silence fell around the room, as the bureaucrat then slowly removed his hands from each other, pressing his left to his chest with such poise.

“ **_I will personally see to it._ ** ” With that said, tears began to run down the mother’s cheeks, as she watched the man gaze slowly to Alyx, the debris above her head to shoot off into the surrounding wall, sticking in like daggers. The youngling looked up to the man before her, cooing as she was slowly picked up by him to hold. Seating her in his left arm, the bureaucrat gave one look to Azian before slowly turning to leave. Inhaling lightly, the smaller scientist then stuck out her hand.

“ _ Wait. _ ” Pausing in place, the man glanced back to Azian, as she wiped blood that leaked from her head before venting out.

“ _... Can I say goodbye? _ ” Lightly blinking, the government man then slowly approached Azian with Alyx in hand, as the young mother tenderly rubbed the top of her head.

“ _... I’m going to miss you, sweetheart… you be strong, and take care of daddy. Wherever he is… _ ” Quietly petting her frizzy hair, Azian then moved to take off her box necklace and place it onto her child, before tenderly pressing a kiss to her head. The young mother then glanced up to the man that held her, eventually nodding for him to take her away from the hell hole. 

A doorway had opened up in the wall, as a bright light shone through, stinging her eyes a bit from the brightness as the bureaucratic man then turned and took Alyx within, disappearing. Hearing the dorm shift and groan from unknown stress, Azian felt her stomach drop as the floorboards underneath her gave way, plummeting straight down into oblivion. Venting in as the wind whipped through her hair, the young mother gazed around as memories came fluttering into view, replaying like some video loop on a transparent screen.

Their noises distorted and warped, voices echoing off in the far distance. Where was she going? Was this purgatory? Replaying the last memories of her mind before ultimately enduring darkness? She still felt the pull in her stomach - still continuously falling - but had yet to see the floor. More memories sprung forth, of either her marriage to Eli, or Alyx’s first breath of air when born. However, some voices she couldn’t recognize. Yet, they didn’t announce them to herself, but rather her daughter, Alyx. 

Asking where she was, or warning her not to listen to… him? Who were they talking about?

Before she could make sense of those voices, Azian looked as she crashed through the ceiling of what was supposedly her family’s dormitory room, smacking the floor upon impact. Grunting hard and whimpering from the slight pain of landing on her arms, the young mother slowly lifted her head and panted, gazing around the messy and destroyed living room. Wait, why was she back here? She should be dead by now. Slowly standing up from the floor, Azian lightly scooped her hair back before touching the back of her head, finding no blood to seep forth from her previous injury.

Okay, this was weird.

Hearing the door open, Azian then glanced as she saw her husband - bloodied, grimey, and exhausted as he seemingly went through hell. About to call out to him, Eli called out in panic and grief, rushing towards the body of… herself. On the kitchen floor, surrounded by a puddle of her own blood, face covered by the strands that were drenched in that vermillion. The young mother watched as her husband cradled her lifeless body close, pressing her head into his chest as he weeped from the disastrous event.

“Baby… baby no…” Eli wept as he held onto his deceased wife, before halting as he heard the sound of their young daughter crying. Gazing to the baby’s room, Azian had followed her husband to the crib, venting in as Alyx was screaming and crying from the alarms that were sounding. 

“It’s okay sweetheart, I got you. I got you.” Eli vented in and took hold of his baby girl, wiping dust out of her hair and face so she could see better. Azian watched from the doorway, watching her husband scramble to collect items for her.

“We have to leave, we have to get out of here. Gordon’s… Gordon’s not back yet and the military… goddamn it, they’re not going to help us.” The father vented in sharply before grabbing hold of a picture frame off of Alyx’s wall, a family photo consisting of all three of them. At least… she wasn’t going to be forgotten, even if she couldn’t go with them. She blinked as Eli phased right through her, taking Alyx and the picture in hand and leaving their dormitory for the last and final time. 

Tears filled her eyes, was the world around her slowly faded into nothingness, hardly a place she could call heaven. Was this hell? Lightly blinking as she felt a presence behind her, Azian turned to look before gasping in surprise as she recognized the man who was also adrift in that nothingness.

“ _... Gordon? _ ” Azian slowly approached him, overlooking the man within the H.E.V. suit. What was he doing here? Eli made mention of him, perhaps told him to get some help, but why was he here? Could that mean he was dead too? Calling out his name again, the young mother vented in as the young physicist didn’t respond.

“ _ Gordon? Gordon? Can you hear me? _ ” Azian spoke to the young man, waving a hand in front of his face before pulling back as he still didn’t respond. His forest-green eyes were partly open, yet staring distantly - as if he was asleep. No light in his eyes, darkened; he looked like he took a heavy beating as part of his suit was dented in, dried blood and some other substances soaked into that fabric. She felt bad for him, as a gut feeling told her that he was the one at ground zero to what occurred.   
  
  
That damn test, just what exactly happened in that chamber? 

The sample her husband mentioned, was it the cause of all of this? Just where did they get that sample from? Quietly overlooking the Freeman’s face, she then flinched upon the sound of a warped violin or cello screeching out within that darkness, followed by a muffled sound of an explosion. Azian looked around the darkness, trying to pinpoint where it had come from, nonetheless found only simple darkness to cloud her vision. About to look back to Gordon, she then paused as she was only met with the broad backside of the man who had taken her child to safety.   
  


Or so she thought.


	4. The Beginning of the End

Azian stared at the bureaucratic man’s backside, trying to figure out what he was doing here, amongst the nothingness of the realm. About to speak out, the young mother then paused as she heard a woman’s voice speak out in echoes. Deep down, it sounded familiar, yet she couldn’t recall ever hearing such a voice. Moving around the government man, did her dark eyes settle upon the woman in front of him, feeling her heart swell with absolute familiarity. That fluffy hair, and hazel eyes - she could recognize it from afar.

Alyx.

“The Combine off Earth… I want the Combine off Earth.” Grown up, yet also weathered. She was grimey, dusty, wearing the old research facility hoodie and simple blue jeans. She was… beautiful, had grown up into a wonderful woman and no doubt endured her time fighting battles against whoever decided to interfere with her. Azian then gazed to the government man, who’s illuminated eyes stared up into nothingness before turning back towards her daughter.

“ **_Ah. That, would be a considerably large nudge. Too large, given the interests of my employers._ ** ” Backing up from the other as he phased out another duplicate of himself, Azian felt her heart begin to beat rapidly. Just what was this man? What was he capable of? She then glanced back to her daughter, almost wanting to call her name yet any attempt made would surely be fruitless. She stared through her, almost, acting as if she wasn’t there.

“Well, you asked.”

“ **_What if, I could offer you something you don’t know you want?_ ** ” Fading his words into whispers, the government man soon circled into view, holding out what looked to be a briefcase. Avoiding the elongation of stars that stretched past her location, Azian watched as the item floated over to her daughter, before she had made a grab for it after a moment’s hesitation. Squinting her eyes at the sudden brightness, the young mother vented out as it began to fade, and the sound of her daughter’s voice calling out for her father filled her ears. Once the brightness dimmed well enough for her to see the scene before her, Azian’s heart had dropped.

“ _ Eli… _ ”

“Dad…? Dad? Wha-- I-Is that me? What is this? What’s happening?” Alyx called out as she watched her very being crying over her dad, in some kind of warehouse, next to a helicopter. Azian watched in dismay, shaking her head as she too was caught off guard by the sudden passing of her husband. To see his dead body lying on the floor, with her daughter cradling him gave her an overwhelming sense of deja vu. It was the same way she was cradled back at the dormitory. Why was she shown this?

“ **_We are in the future. This, is the moment where you watched your father die,_ ** ” Looking around for the government man, Azian lightly moved away from her daughter, “ **_Unless…_ ** ”

“What? … Unless what?”

“ **_Unless, you were to take matters into your own hands._ ** ” Blinking as the scene before them was reversed, Azian flinched as a creature came out of nowhere, taking Eli in it’s hold. Covering her mouth, the young mother vented in as an appendage that was originally in the back of his neck was taken out, before the scene was frozen before them. 

“ **_Release your father, Ms. Vance._ ** ” Keeping her mouth covered, Azian slowly gazed over to her grown-up daughter, venting in lightly as the same green kinetic energy that she had seen before was now enveloping her. After another moment’s hesitation, Alyx had shot the beams into the creature, ultimately killing it with no defense taken. Staring to the creature before her feet, the young mother looked over the strange sight before looking as the government man soon phased into view.

“ **_Good. As a consequence of your actions, this entity will continue, and this entity… will not._ ** ”

“Right… so he’s okay, right? He lives… my dad lives.” Azian watched as the cryptic bureaucrat approached the creature before glancing to her daughter, listening momentarily, before his eyes soon landed on that of her mother. Could he… could he see her? Narrowing her dark eyes some, she then watched as he moved away once the creature had dissipated, bringing them back into that realm of nothingness.

“ **_You_ ** **_are_ ** **_aware, that you’ve proven yourself to be of extraordinary value. A previous hire has been unable… or_ ** **_unwilling_ ** **_, to perform the tasks laid before him._ ** ” Producing a crowbar within his grasp, the navy-blue suited man looked it over before tossing it behind him, eventually stepping out of the way to reveal the very same man she had tried to previously talk to before within that darkness. 

“ _ Gordon… _ ” She watched the young man pick up his glasses from the floor and place them back onto his face.

“ **_We have… struggled, to find a suitable… replacement._ ** **_Until now._ ** ” Illuminated eyes then gazed at her daughter, causing Azian’s heart to drop at the realization. She then furrowed her brow and gritted her teeth as Alyx denied the claim he made. He lied; he lied about putting her through something she didn’t want.

“No! I-I-I just want to go home… send me home!”

“ _ You bastard! She wasn’t apart of the deal! How could you?! _ ” Trying to stop him from leaving, Azian simply vented as he phased through her, like nothing. Turning around as he left, the young mother panted shallowly as he paused in his step. 

“ **_I’m afraid… you misunderstand the situation, Ms. Vance._ ** ” Azian vented in as a doorway opened for him to walk through, much like that moment back at her family’s dormitory. Narrowing her eyes, she moved to go after him, hearing the fading words of her daughter’s cry for him to wait.

Entering that brightness, Azian squinted her eyes as she couldn’t see a proper thing, only for the sound of whipping winds and freezing temperatures to knock her off her senses. Trying to see through the rough blizzard she was tossed into, Azian held herself as she was not prepared for such a plummet of temperature. Wearing only a T-shirt and sweatpants was hardly enough to battle against these elements. Hypothermia was going to set in quickly if she didn’t find some form of shelter.

Why was she here? Shivering and trembling as her own internal temperature began to drop, the young mother grunted as she walked through the snow - barefoot, the icy texture leaving small cuts in her sole as she traversed the terrain. Azian couldn’t understand why she could feel pain - shouldn’t she be dead? Surely she was a spirit amongst the world, watching the certain events unfold for her daughter and husband. But now… to feel pain, was she still alive?

Calling out in pain as the cuts burned from the constant walking, Azian continued to hold herself, lips beginning to turn blue and fingernails turning the same. She was going to die, if she wasn’t already dead. Through the thick shower of snow, the young mother hitched her breath as she spotted an outline of a building coming into view and hurriedly moved to enter inside. She pushed the door open and stumbled inside, grunting as she fell to the floor. 

Kicking the door shut, Azian hyperventilated and cried out as her feet burned from finally being out of the drastic cold, causing her to curl up and hold them in attempts to return warmth to them. They were ice cold, bloodied some from the cuts. She curled up more on the floor, shivering and begging for some sort of explanation as to why she was here. The building creaked and groaned from the blizzard winds outside, ceiling lights flickering yet hardly enough to give out due to the rough weather. 

Slowly laying onto her back, chest heaving as she panted shallowly, dark eyes stared squintedly at the ceiling, trying to regain what senses she lost. However, a pronounced thought leapt through her mind, and the emotion that followed.

Anger.

Slowly rolling onto her front to sit onto her knees, Azian cried out in frustration.  _ That son of a bitch… _ The dark-haired woman then slowly crawled into the next room - due to the pain in her soles - searching for anything that could help warm her body up. Thankfully, a few blankets were left around, and she used those to wrap herself with, blowing warm air into her hands. She had definitely hoped she didn’t succumb to hypothermia, or else she would be really in trouble. 

Sitting on the floor and grunting lightly as the cuts on the bottom of her feet ached and burned, Azian slowly rested her head against the side of a couch. Seems like this was a living quarters, at some point. Dark eyes panned the room she was in; finding an old but destroyed radio sitting atop some desk in the corner. She could try and fix it, radio for help or at least try. Coats and boots were hanging by the doorway, in case one needed to head outside for a multitude of reasons. Among other living arrangements to cure anyone of boredom in the middle of nowhere. 

Slowly closing her eyes out of exhaustion, Azian didn’t realize she had fallen asleep, wrapped in the warmth of the blankets that tried to return her temperature back to normal. Once she had finally awakened, the outside was still loud and violent from the storm overhead - as if nothing has ever changed. Lightly swallowing some, the young mother removed herself from the blankets as she was more than enough warmed, and moved to gaze at the bottom of her feet.

The cuts finally stopped bleeding, but definitely needed to be cleaned before any infection could set in. Slowly standing up, Azian cringed at the slight pain within them, limping around the outpost to find any sort of bathroom or first aid kit. Luckily, she found both, and decided to freshen up so she could clean the wounds easily. After what seemed like a hour, Azian sat on the tub rim, wrapping her feet in bandages laced with ointment. At this point, the expiration date could either be still properly usable or way beyond it. Either way, it was worth a shot. 

Some situation she was brought in - yet she still couldn’t understand where this place could possibly be, or why she was here. She walked through that doorway, of where the man had gone, and ended up in a completely different environment. Arctic, or Antarctic; someplace cold as hell, with no remnants of the distant past. She worried, for her daughter. What could that man be putting her through? Either way, he lied - and now he needed to pay the price. 

Once Azian got dressed into warmer clothes, the young mother moved over to the broken radio in the corner, looking over the damage it sustained. It looked like someone practically attempted to smash it to pieces. She didn’t know the reason why, however luckily she was used to fixing things with a sustained amount of damage either way. Even if Black Mesa didn’t need her, they couldn’t deny her smarts. Taking apart the casing, Azian was only surprised that only a few circuit boards needed repairs, while some wiring needed to be soldered into the correct places. Easy fix, at least she hoped.

Searching the drawers for the items she needed, Azian placed them on top of the desk before deciding to search the other rooms. It hadn’t occurred to her of the meaning of this cabin, or outpost. If someone lived here previously, what was it for? She searched the bedrooms, finding old papers written in some language she couldn’t understand, yet some familiar items, such as nudie magazines under the mattress. Well, they were in the middle of nowhere, so it was understandable.

Checking the other rooms, Azian flicked the switch, blinking as there was a small, functional lab within. Perhaps they were also researchers; she’s heard of ice drilling and whatnot. Taking cores of ice and studying them of either pollution levels or microorganisms. Glancing to the table in the middle, the young mother spotted an old tape recorder, moving to press the button to play any messages that were on it. She heard a few voices, yet they were speaking in… what sounded like Russian. Was this a Russian research base? She then paused as a language she could understand came through.

[This is Euro-American Research Outpost 31, making record of our findings on May 16th, 19--. Findings prove inconclusive with samples 27G, 22S, and 19A. As per usual. Remaining deterrence theory to be re-established. End transmission.] 

Blinking as the tape clicked off the playback, Azian hummed. So it was a research outpost. However, she didn’t understand what samples they were referring to. Ice cores? Or something else? He made mention of  _ deterrence theory _ . What did that have to do with these samples? Quietly humming, the young mother then decided to rewind the tape to start over from the beginning, taking the tape recorder into the other room to listen to while she worked on the radio. 

Flicking on the lamp, Azian then sat down in the chair, listening to the message beginning to play out as she got her tools and items ready. It was going to require a bit more precision that she would like, but apparently she had all the time in the world.

[This is Euro-American Research Outpost 31, making record of findings on July 24th, 19--. Samples 25C, 25G were collected just a few miles outside of Sector 83 dash 2, currently held in transportation in the meantime. Ivanov also wishes me to note that it’s damn well cold outside. End transmission.]

Listening to the pre-recorded message, Azian gazed over the circuit board that she managed to wriggle free from its place, plugging in the soldering iron to get it warmed up for her to use. Some cracks were present in the mainframe, yet she didn’t think it would prove difficult to prevent the radio from working. As long as the circuits were connected and the wires weren’t fried, she was to assume it made no difference. Yet, as she listened to the recording, her confusion only grew even more. What exactly were these samples, and what sector were they being collected from? 

She may be a scientist, but those numbers meant zilch. 

[This is Euro-American Research Outpost 31, making another record of findings on date August 1st, 19--. 25C and 25G samples have been discarded as research proved unsatisfactory by the captain of this withering fleet. Mental note: remember to lock the bottom drawer in Mike’s room. Asshole keeps stealing the gent’s stash. End transmission.]

Lightly smiling to herself, Azian wondered if she should check out that bottom drawer for herself. Some liquor would be nice right about now, after what she’s seen and been through. Though, would be unfortunate if that stash was already long gone. Was worth looking into though. The young mother managed to repair some of the circuits, continuously listening in to the transmissions that were given over the course of days to the course of months. 

At this point, she could repeat the beginning of the transmission, due to the endless loops. It took about… an hour at most, for her to finally give up with repairs, leaning her head back as she was aching from however over her work. Pausing the tape recorder, the dark-haired woman decided to get up and walk around, grunting as some sore pain entered her feet once she did. Right, the cuts. At least they weren’t burning now, but rather were sore… and unbelievably itchy. 

Scratching would do no good, she would need to wait until they were fully healed. With the gurgle and growl of her stomach, Azian took it upon herself to raid the kitchen, hoping for some sort of rations she could devour without the fear of getting sick from it. Usually canned goods were a safe bet.

Searching the cabinets, Azian pulled out a can of cheese ravioli, wondering if it was possibly to warm this up. She hummed and looked around for a pot, opening the bottom drawers and grabbing for a small saucepan. Good enough, either way. Setting the pot on top of the stovepipe fireplace - seeing as there was no oven - the young mother punctured the can before raising it to her nose to get a good smell of the contents inside. Seemed rather okay for the most part; it didn’t smell rancid or expired. 

“ _... Here’s hoping. _ ” Opening the lid some more with a can opener she found, Azian poured the ravioli into the pot, lightly mixing it around so it would warm up evenly. Innovation; no oven or microwave, no problem. She’s camped a few times before, surely this wasn’t going to be as bad as those attempts. Keeping an eye on the small meal sizzling within, dark-eyes then closed upon the realization of her being completely alone. No husband, no daughter to keep her company. She truly wanted to know what happened in Black Mesa - who had caused the meltdown. Where… where Alyx had been and who those voices were. 

Azian then wrapped her arms around herself, dark eyes opening to gaze at the fireplace, hearing the wood crackle and pop from the flames. After a few minutes of complete silence, with the rough winds whipping against the outpost from the blizzard, Azian sat down on the couch, holding the saucepan. Taking a clean fork and poking into one of the cheesy pockets, the young mother blew lightly on the contents before biting into it, hissing lightly.

“ _ Ah fuck, hot. _ ” She cursed momentarily before blowing on it once more and putting it into her mouth, humming at the taste as she chewed. It wasn’t…  _ that _ bad - but she wouldn’t exactly give it a Michelin star. Quirking her head and scooping her hair back some, Azian continued to eat, curling up some on the couch as she watched the fireplace. While it wasn’t fun to have no television to watch, she doubted she’d get any good channels all the way out in the frozen wastelands. 

And it led into another question.

If that government man came through here, where did he go? Surely she should have caught him on the other side - then again, what he had done before her and her daughter was a cause for immediate red flags. He was something otherworldly, definitely inhuman, and that experience took the cake. The anger returned; he was to personally see to her safety, yet he made her a deal through manipulation. A loophole, he got her to agree through a loophole; none of them realized that Eli was going to die in the future. 

Yet, he changed it. Or rather had Alyx change it.

Thus the deal was finalized. That reminded her - was Gordon part of it? Was that why he was suspended in eternal sleep? Trying to wrap her head around the details, Azian blinked as she realized tears had filled her eyes. Wiping her face and sniffling some, the young mother just wished for their safety. To stand idly by on the sidelines was the worst, in her opinion. Watching her daughter get taken, Eli dying before her very eyes - her heart couldn’t take it. Using the sleeve of her shirt to swipe more tears away, the dark-haired woman then made a vow.

She was going to find that man and demand answers, no matter how long it takes.

She was still alive, despite the deal originally being her death for Alyx’s life. There had to be an explanation, and she knew she was only going to get it from that cryptic bastard himself. There had to be some sort of sign as to where he might have gone, potentially another outpost nearby. Yet with this damn storm ceasing to stop, she was going to traverse blindly. And like hell she was going on foot. Temperatures were well below zero, and she doubted there was a working mode of transportation nearby. 

If she could get that damn radio to work soon, maybe she could send out an S.O.S. or a distress signal. Friend or foe… she could take any at this point. The sheer anger she felt of being backstabbed should be enough to take on a decent sized army. Mother’s instinct, Alyx was in trouble and by damn she was going to get her out of it. Quietly munching on the cheese ravioli, only a few words left her mouth in the mush of eating.

“ _ Don’t fuck with me. _ ”

Once the small dinner had been eaten, and the leftover pot in the sink, Azian got straight back to work on the radio, scooping her hair back into a messy bun before soldering more of the damaged circuits. The tape recorder was playing again, to fill that silence and anger she was feeling, hands keeping leveled and stable so she wouldn’t ruin her work. Focused, and determined to get the job done. 

[This is Euro-American Research Outpost 31 making record blah blah blah, October 15th, 19--. One of the idiots, I don’t know who - one of the main drivers, probably Norko on the Bandvagn, clipped a mound near Sector 1138 and damaged some of the treads. Now we’re stranded until the next storm passes and we can actually work on the damn thing. I’ll see if Jason can see to repairs. End transmission.]

“ _ Fucking Norko. _ ” Azian huffed as she listened to the recording, feeling like she was getting let in on some juicy gossip. Either way, it was to keep herself entertained; she could understand why someone might go crazy in absolute nowhere. Especially since she was alone out here. As the next message began to play, Azian lightly moved her head side to side to get rid of any cramping, bones cracking from staying in one position over the course of time. 

[This is Euro-American Research Outpost jackshit, and we’re still out here stranded. Damn storm’s not letting up, and everytime that it does, at times I wish it’d kill us already. Food’s getting low and the depots can’t deliver ‘em until it passes. Some road trip this is. End the fucking transmission already.] 

Lightly humming to herself, Azian got up and did some stretches, moving to the other rooms to see what she could scavenge, listening to the tape continuously play their recordings. She dug into the drawers, huffing as mostly they contained clothes that weren’t her size or more of those magazines. They were completely alone out there and it was starting to get sad. Did they have any family? Perhaps not; dedicating their life to science sometimes didn’t have family in the picture. 

[Mayday, mayday, we got something out here - something huge! I don’t know what but it looked like a goddamn icebreaker ship! It came out of nowhere, and I doubt it sailed through 4k meters of ice! We’re packing up and retracing our steps!]

Peeking her head around the corner, Azian was taken aback by the sudden recording of the man’s surprise. An icebreaker ship, all the way out here? Came out of nowhere? She waited for any potential recordings to replay again, only for nothing to remain. Going back to the tape recorder, the young mother rewinded it before pressing play, listening to what the man had to say. 

[Mayday, mayday, we’ve got something out here - something huge! I don’t know what but it looked like a goddamn icebreaker ship! It came out of nowhere, and I doubt it sailed through 4k meters of ice! We’re packing up and retracing our steps!] 

Stopping and replaying the message once more, Azian tried to listen closely, squinting her dark eyes as something was in the background. She couldn’t make out what it was, only that it sounded distant and potentially muffled. Rewinding and playing the message again, the dark-haired woman pressed her ear to the speaker, furrowing her brow before softening her expression. It sounded like a voice, yet distant and stretched. A voice that sent chills down her spine - she hadn’t heard anything like it. 

Elongated, otherworldly.

Stopping the recording, the dark-haired woman stood there in disbelief to what she had heard. Surely, the men that were at this outpost met their demise going to such a ship. Whatever she just listened to, had to be the ultimate reason. Lightly rubbing her face, Azian lightly pressed her fingers to her lips in thought before going back to fixing the radio. If anything, she needed to get it working, in case that ship ever showed up again and drew her out of her sanctuary. She was underprepared and doubted anyone who used to live here had access to weapons, or potentially took it all with them.

Sitting down in her seat, Azian grabbed hold of her soldering iron, carefully placing the wires back into the correct inputs. The wind continued to whip heavily against the output, leaving the ceiling lights to flicker once more yet returning to their normality - if this place was indeed normal. Azian didn’t bother to look at a clock, as the outside world still appeared the very same when she arrived. Perhaps twilight, and a curse had befallen this place. While deep down she doubted the radio’s frequency even managing to get into contact with someone nearby, the storm would make it hard to travel.

She could be stuck here for days, or even years. Definitely a plan B was in order. She would need to find supplies to venture out into that thick blizzard and search for life herself, or perhaps other outposts that could tell her where to go. If she was in the Arctic, it would be a lot of ground to cover - so perhaps making a tether from this outpost to save herself from getting too lost was beneficial. 

The hours ticked by, and Azian had finally managed to fix the radio enough to get a static signal. At least it was working, now she had to find the right frequency to send out an S.O.S. Lightly rubbing her eyes to subdue her exhaustion, the young mother gave a deep breath before trying one of the frequencies, pressing down on the microphone’s button.

“ _ This is… Outpost 31. Anyone else on this frequency? _ ” Releasing the button and hearing only the white noise come through, Azian sighed quietly, giving it another try.

“ _ This is Dr. Azian Vance, is anyone out there? _ ” Waiting for a sign, dark eyes soon closed as nothing came through. White noise filled the room, something she felt was worse than complete silence. Inhaling deeply, Azian then tuned the radio to a different frequency before pressing the button on the mic once more.

“ _ Mayday, mayday, is there anyone on this frequency? Please, report back. _ ” Seconds ticked by, exhaustion becoming increasingly unbearable. She needed to rest, yet she didn’t want to miss anyone that could potentially come through.

“ _ Can anyone hear me out there? I’m stranded. _ ” Fading her words, Azian closed her eyes once more, softly running her fingers through her hair in stress. If any voice came through, it would be a miracle. Yet so far, only white noise and nothingness. It was as if she was in another realm. Quietly venting, the young mother then tried a different frequency, mentally praying that something would come through. She pressed the button and began to talk.

“ _... I want to say a message to my daughter Alyx. I’m sure you’re scared… and even more alone than I am. But I don’t want you to lose hope. There are people out there, who care about you. Want to see you safe and sound. Your father and I are very proud of you. To see you grow up and become this strong, brave woman I knew you’d become. Even if you’re next door or… millions of miles away… there is no distance between us. _ ” Tears began to fill the young mother’s eyes, as she released the button, lightly sitting her head down on her arm. Alone, tired; Azian had then lifted her head and reached for the dial to change the frequency. 

Only to pause as a garbled voice came through the white noise.

Unbelieving of what she was hearing, Azian tried to focus the dial, pressing the button on the microphone once more. She called out for the voice, trying to make sense of what they were saying. Turning the knob just a tad to the right, what she heard made her heart swell. She recognized that young voice anywhere; one that she didn’t realize or hope to come through. Her daughter… her daughter was on a strange frequency; garbled, distant, warped and echoed - but still there. 

The young mother weeped and gave an exasperated sigh, hand touching the top of the radio in relief. To hear her daughter’s voice was relieving, yet scary. Just where could she be that was so distant and jumbled? Yet, if she was coming through, she had to be close. There was no possible way this storm allowed for radio contact from so far away. As quickly as her voice came through the frequency, it returned to proper static, leaving Azian to sit there in complete silence. A decision finally made.

Getting up from the desk, Azian began to raid the room for supplies - taking snow boots and warm clothes, among a backpack with essentials for the trek she was going to make. Changing out of her comfort clothes and into outerwear, the young mother then took the tie out of her hair to let it down, fluffing it out some before scooping it back into the hood of her coat. Taking a scarf and wrapping it around her neck, Azian gazed at herself in the mirror before searching the desk for any potential weapons.

If something was out there, she would need to protect herself.

Finding a pistol in one of the drawers, Azian checked it for bullets, satisfied with the full clip already in it. Dragging the backpack out to the living room, she then moved into the garage, taking out some ropes that were hanging on the walls. Going back to the outpost’s common room, the young mother attached the ropes to her bag before making note of where her coordinates were. Picking up the backpack, the dark-haired woman had carried it onto her back, adjusting the straps as best as she could. 

The bags were definitely old, but still able to be used. Taking some goggles and putting them on top of her head, Azian took one last look around the outpost before heading outside, grunting lightly as the cold winds smacked against her face, already the cold temperature sending a chill throughout her body. Closing the door after herself, the young mother descended the porch steps before tracking through the thick snow, holding onto her bag so she had better balance. 

As she began to move away from the outpost, Azian then looked back, squinting her eyes as she spotted a vehicle coming up from the distance. She waited and watched, slowly beginning to unholster the pistol from her pant leg. Surely her sending out a signal from the outpost attracted some attention. As the vehicle got closer, Azian clicked the safety off, watching as it parked a mere 10 feet from her. Trying to make out the figure on the snowmobile through the headlights blinding her, she then paused as the figure got off, and a certain emblem shined through the thick blizzard.

Lambda.

Pausing just beside the vehicle, the one wearing the suit clicked off the shaders on his helmet glancing through the protection towards the young mother. A face she could recognize, even if they met only a few times in their life. Lowering the scarf from her mouth, as well as lowering her aim of her gun, Azian then slowly smiled. It was good to see a familiar face.

_ Gordon. _


	5. Peaceful Catastrophe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ: A very long chapter awaits you up ahead. I really recommend after reading its entirety - that you listen to an outro song I have thought that went well for it. The song is called "因我而起" by Angela Zhang.

_I bet you weren’t expecting to see me here, were you?_

Warming up a pot of coffee on the stovepipe fireplace, Azian glanced over to the young physicist, who was taking off his helmet and re-adjusting his hair. Quite disheveled, and weathered, most likely due to a long-distance journey he had to endure in the freezing temperatures. He simply shook his head in response, staring at the young mother with a bit of surprise. After all, they thought she had been deceased. Eli himself told him that he could only manage to carry Alyx and a picture out of Black Mesa. Now to see her alive, something felt truly strange.

“ _Hm, to be honest, neither did I._ ” Lightly chuckling, Azian then pulled the pot of coffee off of the fireplace, pouring the contents into a clean mug before carrying it over to the Freeman. He took it into his hands once she gave it to him, nodding in thanks. Sitting beside him on the couch, the dark-haired woman vented in as the winds outside rushed against the building before ceasing some in their intensity. Guess it was okay not to be out there right away - might be enduring the brunt of the storm. Watching Gordon sip at the contents within, trying to warm up in the freezing cold, he then gazed over at his old colleague. 

“ _... He sent you out here, didn’t he? Eli._ ” Blinking lightly, Gordon then gave a nod, holding the warm cup in his gloved hands. Azian softly smiled before looking to the floor as she sat back in her seat. Thinking back to the moment she saw, with her daughter, it was honestly heartbreaking. To think that this was what she missed over that time frame was gut-wrenching. 

“ _... I saw what happened. In a way, I was there, witnessing it from the sidelines and couldn’t do a damn thing about it. That bureaucratic bastard lied to me. Alyx changed her father’s fate yet subsequently wrote her own change of fate. He knew a loophole and took that opportunity. Even if what I said wasn’t part of the deal._ ” Azian inhaled sharply and looked around the outpost before glancing back to the young physicist beside her.

“ _... I’m sure I’ve missed a lot of things. Crazy things, I bet. And while I would really like to know what happened that day at Black Mesa, I don’t think it’ll help much in this current situation,_ ” Pausing her words, Azian then glanced behind Freeman, gazing to the radio she managed to get a frequency on some time earlier, “ _... I heard her on the radio. Alyx. And if I managed to hear her, then I know she’s got to be close._ ”

Crossing her arms, Azian then went back to gazing around the room they were in, listening to the crackling of the fire and the rushing winds just outside. A storm to last for centuries, like some given curse to prevent their travel or mission from being easy. Figures, life was never easy. She then glanced back to Gordon, before lightly chuckling.

“ _You still look the same as when we last saw each other._ ” Azian smiled more as the Freeman cracked a small smile of his own, lightly rubbing the back of his head. Even so, his quietness stayed the familiar route as well; seems like he took her advice to heart. Talking got him into trouble.

“ _Though… I bet my husband’s changed, hasn’t he? And if he’s alive, well… I’m sure he’s going to be surprised when he finds out that I am. We’re in a long, damn story, Gordon. Seemingly no end, an infinite loop. Still think there’s nothing to chaos theory?_ ” Getting a snicker out of the other, Azian then began to laugh. She definitely felt better about seeing a familiar face, even if they were still considered alone in this unstable terrain. It was honestly a surprise that Freeman even managed to find her. 

Small world.

“ _... Goddamn I miss moments like these. Even if it doesn’t feel that I’ve been gone that long, I’m sure it’s the complete opposite for many. I can’t… even begin to fathom a plan on how to get Alyx back. That bureaucratic bastard is something unworldly. I’ve seen what he can do and it’s terrifying. We’re really at a loss here._ ” Azian lightly rubbed her face and sighed, obviously exhausted. She was still dressed for the long trek she wanted to make to find anyone of civilization, yet now tiredness was deeply settling in. It had to be well deep into the night, yet the outside world was still bathed in twilight. 

It was hard to tell what time it truly was. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Azian gazed over to the Freeman, who simply gave her a worried look. He could see that she was exhausted, it was written all over her face. Besides, she’d usually wear some light makeup to shield her dark circles, yet now they were in full view. 

“ _Don’t worry, I’m just a little tired. Nothing I can’t handle,_ ” Lightly inhaling, Azian lightly tapped her chin with a finger. 

“ _I’m sure my husband didn’t exactly give a fool-proof plan, right? After all, what we’re dealing with completely defies the laws of physics and the space-time continuum itself, so it’s understandable. But, when it comes to Alyx, I’m sure his brain works faster than the RPM of a spinning top. When you’re a father and your child in trouble, a lot of instincts kick in. Sure saved Alyx a lot when she was a baby. It’s a habitual reflex._ ” Azian lightly leaned forward and rubbed her hands together, still trying to cure herself of exhaustion. Yet, the only way she knew that was going to happen is if adrenaline kicks in.

Yet if she was this tired, enduring a battle would do more harm than good. At least she wasn’t alone. Gordon was here with her, on the same difficult path to locating her daughter. Two was better than one when trying to find her. With the silence of the outpost increasing, Azian fluttered her eyes, giving in to the tender lull of the fire crackling and the harsh winds rushing against the building they were in. Dark eyes closed completely, and the young mother leaned back in her seat, fatigue winning the battle she tried to desperately avoid. 

Deep down, she could have sworn to have heard the ticking of a clock; distant, but echoed. It slowly faded in with loudness, reverberating in the nothingness she dreamed of. With the last few clicks, Azian then opened her eyes, narrowing them lightly as the Outpost was darkened - and the fire was no longer burning to keep the place warm. She shivered lightly, still hearing the storm brew outside to no end. Slowly sitting up on her seat, she gazed around the building before settling her dark eyes on the body beside her. 

Finding only Gordon’s endoskeleton still wearing the H.E.V. suit.

Dark eyes snapped open and caught sight to the Freeman above her, as her head was propped up with his thigh. He was previously checking his guns, before pausing as the young mother had finally woken up. Furrowing her brow a bit, Azian had then sat up slowly and gazed around the outpost. Everything was back to normal, the fire still continuously burning and the building hardly shrouded in darkness. She then turned back to Gordon, who simply gazed to her.

“ _... I fell asleep didn’t I?_ ” Getting a nod in response, Azian then glanced to the blanket that was on her. Most likely the young physicist had placed it on her in case she was cold. Still, she didn’t expect to be laying her head on his lap, she wouldn’t call them that close. Lightly humming, the dark-haired woman then rubbed at her face, releasing a heavy sigh. 

“ _Sorry, I didn’t mean to. Guess I was way more tired than I realized._ ” The young mother then lifted her face from her hands, catching sight to her backpack on the floor. That reminded her - originally the previous inhabitants of the Outpost were searching for some kind of ship that appeared out of nowhere. Turning towards the young physicist, she watched him cock back a gun a few times before setting it down. 

“ _I just remembered that… I found some old recordings of the people who used to research here. It recorded their findings but the last entry was them coming into contact with a ship. A ship that appeared out of nowhere._ ” Azian then blinked lightly as Gordon looked at her with surprise before nodding and pointing at her.

“ _Wait… you know about the ship? What is it?_ ” 

“Borealis.” Azian blinked in surprise as she finally heard the other talk, but more so of the name that escaped his mouth. Borealis? The ship from Aperture Science? Thinking back, Azian lightly tapped her chin with a finger, remembering what Eli had told her before Alyx was born. The ship to beat Black Mesa for funding incorporated a lot of scientific processes. If it was the same ship the people of the outpost came into contact with…

Where has it been?

“ _... This is all so strange. For it to be here, in the middle of frigid nowhere; do we even have confirmation that it’s still here?_ ” Azian glanced over to Gordon, as he nodded and shifted in his seat some as he began to tell her what happened at a base called White Forest. While it was surprising to hear his voice, the young mother continued to listen to what he had to say. So Izzy was also alive - she was glad to hear that - lesser in tone when she heard Magnusson was too.

They didn’t exactly get along, but at least their relationship wasn’t as strenuous as hers with Breen. As Gordon began to explain to her, she couldn’t help but to furrow her brow when he had told her that Alyx was there, but disappeared after Eli had been saved. It confirmed her suspicions of the government man; Eli was meant to die at that moment but he wanted to avoid it. Thus he grabbed Alyx to force her to change the timeline. In a way, Alyx wasn’t forced, she was coerced. If it meant saving her father, she’d do it.

There was the loophole.

Sighing softly to herself, Azian then gazed to the crackling fire in the corner, becoming deep in thought. The government man didn’t force her to do something she didn’t want to do. He did Alyx a favor, and in return wanted one back. Tears began to fill the mother’s eyes as she then stood up and kicked over the end table, causing the lamp to crash to the floor. Panting lightly, the young mother vented in as she felt a hand on her shoulder, causing her to turn towards the Freeman.

He was weathered and exhausted too, yet still kept his youth about him. Most likely he was still the same age as when they left Black Mesa. He must have seen things that they couldn’t fathom, but now they were stuck in the same situation. Their peers were older, on their way for natural causes to make their claim. In a way, she felt guilty.

“ _If I hadn’t made that damn deal, maybe things would have been different. But I couldn’t let my baby die. I just couldn’t. What type of mother would I be if I let her get crushed before my eyes? I was prepared to die, but not her._ ” Azian lightly wiped her tears away before glancing back to the bag upon the floor. She then narrowed her eyes before turning towards Gordon, lightly curling her fingers into fists.

“ _If that ship is out here somewhere, I want to find it. And I’m sure my husband would also agree that… that Alyx has to be on it. She has to be - being held against her will._ ” Azian then gazed over to the radio she had fixed, remembering the distorted, distant voice of her baby that came from it. She was still alive and in need of help. Picking up her coat and slipping it back onto her body, the young mother then zipped it up and covered her head with the hood.

“ _If you are in agreement Gordon… we can’t afford to waste any more time. Let’s head out and find that damn, government bastard and_ **_make him_ ** _give me back my daughter._ ” Cocking his gun back in response, Gordon then nodded as the both of them collected their things before leaving the outpost. Covering her face with the scarf and the Freeman to put his helmet back on to shield him from the elements, the two got onto the snowmobile outside, ignoring the rough winds that threatened to knock them off their feet.

Grabbing hold of the strap as she sat behind the Freeman, Azian tried to use his body as a barrier to block the frigid temperatures, hearing Gordon start the machine up and rev the engine to get them on their journey again. The headlights came on, providing a bit of coverage of the white covered land before them, as the young mother held on tight once the vehicle began moving. She glanced at the Outpost one last time, before returning her gaze over the young physicist's shoulder, keeping an extra eye out in case any of them might run into unnecessary trouble.

Sure, it felt strange; she couldn’t recall the last time she went skiing or just generally been in cold climates, but it was different in this current time. This wasn’t for a leisurely vacation - it was to save her and Eli’s daughter. Gazing around the desolate area, the hum of the snowmobile provided a smokescreen to hearing distant noises, including the occasional crack of thunder in the distance. 

As often as she didn’t want to, surveying their environment left Azian to catch brief glimpses of the man that made her the original deal within that harsh climate, seemingly unscathed or unbothered by the wind’s attempts to catch him off-balance.

She didn’t know if Gordon would take notice; deep down she hoped he wouldn’t and just continue on like normal. Yet, he was still there, watching just beyond their peripheral - waiting, as if deciding the determining factor between how far they would get before something bad happens. Azian did wonder if the Freeman had made a deal with him also, yet now wasn’t the time to ask. She could barely hear anything above her inner thoughts, and didn’t expect to hear Gordon’s soft-spoken voice to explain how he was still alive too.

He drove mostly in silence while the shield of the helmet kept his face from being frostbitten by the bitter cold before them. It was good for him because he could see a bit better too, without the blinding white compromising his vision as he drove the snowmobile. Either way, it kept them from crashing into some debris that could be out there or clipping a snowy mound too hard. Azian glanced around with her snow goggles, breathing warm air into her scarf to save her from the freeze. 

It wasn’t until a silhouette came up in the distance that made Azian tap on Gordon’s shoulder, pointing to the structure of a radio tower in the distance. Nodding some, the Freeman gave a thumbs-up as he understood her, steering the snowmobile into the direction of where she wanted to go. If anything, maybe they could get into better contact with someone else - or perhaps the base that the young physicist originally came from. White Forest, was it? Maybe contacting Eli could give her a better understanding of what they could be involved with.

With the roar of thunder in the distance, Azian lightly bounced in her seat as they drove up the hill, parking out in front of the entrance. Turning off the vehicle, Gordon had made the motion of Azian to wait, and that he was going to check it out - supposedly in case there were enemies around. The young mother watched Freeman cock his gun back and move to the doorway, peeking inside momentarily before heading in. She waited, keeping a hand on her holster in case she would need to endure a battle of her own as she sat out in the cold. 

After a long minute, and no other sound of gunfire to announce itself, Gordon came back to the doorway and waved her in, signaling that it was okay. Hopping off of the vehicle, Azian then quickly trudged through the thick snow and under the Freeman’s arm as he held the door open for her. Lowering the scarf from her mouth, she gazed back to the young physicist as he tried to get the door to close, despite the wind wanting to keep it open. With all his strength he managed to pull it close, placing a shovel between the handles so it wouldn’t budge open. 

“ _Let’s hope this radio tower still can get a signal. Otherwise, stopping here might have been fruitless._ ” Nodding to her in response, Azian moved over to the control center, gazing over the various buttons among the console before managing to find the power switch. At least the power was still coursing through this place - but for how long was unknown. 

As Gordon surveyed the area, Azian tuned the frequencies to broadcast her message, awaiting a stronger response than the previous radio she fixed. It buzzed and filtered the white noise as she turned the dial before beginning to call to attention.

“ _This is Vance and Freeman, is there anyone out there, come in please._ ” As white noise filled the room once more, Azian glanced at Gordon momentarily before gazing back to the dials. Surely they weren’t alone out here. Trying to focus them correctly, Azian called out again, before pausing as she heard a voice come through, distorted and glitched. 

[H-Hel--o]

“ _Hello? You’re breaking up, come in._ ” Azian tried to focus the dials before waiting as the signal began to get clear. Rather, too clear, compared to the harsh climate outside. Why was this signal stronger than the last attempts she had?

[Oh there we go, had to reset the configuration. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I heard Freeman, is that right?]

“ _Vance and Freeman, yes._ ”

[Vance? Wait, Alyx? Is that you?]

“ _No, it’s Azian. How do you know Alyx?_ ”

[Azian! My word! This is incredible! A bit strange really, I mean… everyone thought you were dead, but still, it’s good to hear ya.]

“ _I’m sorry I’m a bit lost here, but who the hell are you and how do you know my daughter?_ ”

[Oh sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself - I’m Russell. I worked with Alyx and her dad some time ago before everything ran amuck with the Combine and the Vault and millions of tiny little things that I can’t recall right away.] 

Azian blinked before glancing over to Gordon - who seemed equally as confused to who this person was. He couldn’t confirm nor deny that this person was who he said he was, as he never heard of someone named Russell. Surely it was before he ended up in City 17, but who knew? The young mother then gazed back to the radio.

“ _Okay… what’s a person like you doing all the way out here?_ ”

[Oh! I’m researching! Yeah, something about a ship that’s gone missing and whatnot. Took my chances with the elements but unfortunately didn’t win. Had to hole up here to maintain my composure. Still, it’s not all bad, being alone in the middle of absolute nowhere. You tend to talk to yourself a lot. Frankly, I am in a love-hate relationship with myself at the moment. Arguments aren’t pretty.]

“ _Wait, are you here in this very building? Is that why the signal is so strong?_ ”

[Oh yeah! I’m down in the basement! With the Combine running around, couldn’t exactly afford to stay up out there. Here! I’ll buzz you in!]

With that said, Azian and Gordon simultaneously gazed to the door in the corner, watching it buzz loudly with alarm before opening, revealing a stairway that headed downwards to what was presumably the basement. Glancing at Freeman, the young mother then followed behind him, as he was pretty much the barrier of protection should this Russell character not exactly be who he said. Walking down the stairway, another door had opened for them, while the one at the top had closed, revealing the interior of a makeshift lab. 

Soft piano tunes filled the environment as the two stepped inside, gazing around at the mess of mix-match machines and wires, billboards, and file cabinets overflowing with papers that contained an even _more_ messy disorganization. Azian then glanced as a figure got up from a desk, limping over to one of the tables in the middle of the room.

“Come in, come in! Welcome to my lab! It’s not much but it gets the job done. Or, at least tries. I’m not an interior decorator by trade - if I was, I wouldn’t be a scientist! But, god, look at you two. Maybe it’s good I left the surface world a while ago. Then again, you have pros and cons of spending an eternity down in some dark establishment with no one else to share your troubles.” 

“ _... Right._ ”

“Azian… goodness, I can’t believe I’m meeting you face-to-face. You look just like your daughter. Or, well, your daughter looks just like you. Either way, you're related, I suppose that’s all that matters. And Gordon Freeman, right? The man who disappeared yet reappeared like nothing’s ever changed! Black Mesa couldn’t hold you down!” Russell lightly held out his hand to shake hers, and possibly Freeman’s. Azian decided to be nice and offer her hand, blinking as he shook her hand before walking off back to some of his lab equipment.

“ _Uhm… Russell, right?_ ”

“Yes!”

“ _... You said you used to work with my husband and Alyx. Before everything happened with… the Combine and the Vault. What are you talking about with that?_ ”

“Oh oh oh right! I forgot, you’re not entirely up to speed. Well, in the beginning, after the Black Mesa incident was something called the 7 Hour War. Aliens called the Combine filed through these massive superportals and started their eternal damnation of our planet. Then, once everything settled and America was basically nonexistent, we moved to Eastern European city called City 17. Not the greatest name but you get the circumstances.” Azian blinked and lightly took off her hood as the other began to explain the story. Gordon simply moved around the room, examining the various equipment as he heard the story before.

“Before Gordon’s time I suppose, me and Eli were caught in some mixup regarding this superweapon. Or, at least we thought it was a superweapon. Eli got captured, and so did Alyx but I managed to save her. Anyway, we decide to ultimately make a smash and grab for her dad, when we realize the Combine had the superweapon locked away in a Vault suspended above the QZ. Quarantine zone for short.” Russell paced the area with a limp as Azian crossed her arms.

“The more digging we did, the more we realized that it wasn’t a superweapon, but someone being held captive inside. Alyx then gained intel that this was someone we knew. Long to be dead. Gordon, thus we had the plan to rescue him. However, once Alyx got to the Vault, Eli wanted her to turn back immediately. Whoever was in that Vault wasn’t Gordon, but some kind of… powerful being. It was then that we were sort of compromised and had to move bases but in that time frame we got separated.”

“ _... Can bet you a million dollars that the person in the Vault was that bureaucratic bastard who took her._ ” Azian then gazed to Gordon as he looked back and nodded, as he had a sneaking suspicion as well. Russell watched them and confusingly tilted his head.

“Bureaucratic bastard?”

“ _... It’s a long story. But, you said you’re out here researching a ship._ ”

“Right! The Borealis! I found old records of some Aperture Science data when scavenging old Combine outposts further south before I came to hole up here. I can let you take a look at it if you want, might give you some clue as to what they were going to have on board. Old manifests, dockhand names, invoices, where it came from, all kinds of information.” Russell lightly motioned with his hands as he talked, as Azian stepped forward to the old scientist’s computer, watching him sit down and pull up files that she thought would be non-existent. After all, the ship was properly believed to be that way. Looking over the information that was presented to her, Azian blinked before glancing to Gordon.

“ _Gordon, if you can. Try and get into contact with Eli? You said he was at White Forest, right? I’m sure he’s wondering where you’re at._ ” Getting a nod in response, Gordon headed back upstairs to use the radio, leaving the two scientists to discuss the information that was loaded on the old Mac computer. Azian gazed over the manifests and it’s construction location among the computer. Of course, Aperture Science bought the ship yet redesigned it to fit their scientific projects. 

What those scientific projects were didn’t completely register on the documents. Some were classified and dismissed entirely off record, yet she couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t until her dark eyes settled upon the documentation of something called the Bootstrap Device. Installed on the ship, with the express purpose of traveling anywhere it wanted.

“ _Wait, do you possibly have any other information on this? The Bootstrap Device?_ ” 

“Uhhh, maybe? Might take me a couple of hours to find something. Why?”

“ _Because if we’re dealing with teleportation, it might be exactly what the Combine is looking for. Among others. If you can quickly gather any information on it, I’d like to take a look at it._ ”

“Sure, just give me a tad and I’ll get back to you.” With that said, Azian nodded and moved away from the other as he began to work, decided to head upstairs to see if Gordon managed to get into contact with her husband. What would she say? Knowing how many years have probably passed for him - hearing that his wife was indeed still alive would surely give him a heart attack. Would he have moved on? Or was he still reaping in the grief of losing her?

As she approached the doorway, the dark-haired woman then paused as she heard a voice, one that she unfortunately recognized. The government man; was he talking to Gordon? Pressing her ear to the door, the young mother tried to make out what he was saying, narrowing her eyes as it was partly muffled and couldn’t understand half of what he was telling Freeman. So he did a contract with him as well and placed him into sleep much like he did with Alyx. 

Or herself.

Yet she fought through it perhaps, a little sliver of an opening to allow her to return back to the normal world despite her fate integrated previously. In a way, she broke the deal. Continuing to listen to the conversation at hand, she would have liked nothing more than to step out there and chew him out. Yet, the other part of her wanted to keep Gordon safe. She didn’t want anything to happen to him - he didn’t deserve it. Yet now… should she even trust him?

What was she _even_ saying? Of course, she could trust him, she just couldn’t trust the government man and his supposed deals. There was always going to be a catch. As she heard the man’s voice dissipate, she then opened the door, dark eyes narrowing more in hopes to catch him in the act before softening her expression to the sight before her. The room they were previously in, was full of alien flora she had never seen before. Fluorescent flowers glowed and sprouted in beautiful colors, as webbing lined the walls and floors in a membrane pattern. 

She stood there in complete disbelief, venting in at such an environment. The way alien and human infrastructure mended together was similar to the way nature took it’s claim to abandoned properties with years of non-use. Azian then slowly gazed up to Gordon who turned to her, still holding a gun within his hand yet seemingly weary and out of it. The blizzard still roared with life outside, yet inside the radio station - was a peaceful catastrophe. She stepped over some membranes of vines that laid upon the floor, feeling them crunch under her boot due to weight as she approached the Freeman.

“ _... Did he do this?_ ”

Azian waited for an answer, yet Gordon simply turned his attention to the console radio, as he was supposed to be contacting Eli. Watching him slowly make his way over to it, the young mother then came up to the other once more, setting a hand onto his arm, bringing his attention back to her. They stared at each other, within that strange room before she had parted her lips.

“ _What did he say to you, Gordon?_ ” Silence befell over the both of them before the young physicist had subsequently crashed against the young mother, as if his energy and willpower had finally given out. Gasping in surprise, Azian grunted and tried to prevent him from falling to the floor, propping his head up with her knees. She then began to remove his helmet, internally fearing that her previous nightmare was going to ring true once she saw his face. Instead, she sighed in relief as he was simply unconscious and not a skeleton. 

“ _Russell…! Russell!_ ” Calling out to the other scientist, Azian tenderly ran her fingers through Gordon’s hair, overlooking the young man’s face. Coming up the stairs, Russell paused at the change of environment.

“What in god’s name--”

“-- _Help me, he’s collapsed._ ” Looking over her shoulder at him, Azian vented in as Russell came over to help her pick him up by the shoulders and carrying him back down to the basement. 

“What happened?”

“ _I don’t know, I came up here and… and the whole environment changed. He was fine just a second ago!_ ” 

“It looks like Xenian flora! Oh it’s incredible!”

“ _Now’s not the time Russell!_ ”

“Right right, here we go!” Russell grunted as he helped the young mother bring Freeman back to his lab. Despite him being heavy due to his H.E.V. suit, they managed to get him down right away, as Azian settled him onto a couch that was pressed up against the corner of the room. Kneeling down to the young physicist, the dark-haired woman then touched his forehead, humming in slight thought and worry.

“ _He doesn’t have a fever, so I can rule out infection._ ” Azian mostly spoke to herself, lightly petting the young man’s head as Russell took a seat in his chair to rest his legs.

“Maybe he’s just tired? After all, he went through Black Mesa’s hell and god knows what else. His body finally managed to give out. I’d give him some time, see if he comes around again within the hour. If not, well… did we know what he wanted in his obituary?” 

“ _Russell._ ”

“Sorry, but I’m just saying, we have to look at all of our options--”

“ _Stop._ ”

“Right. Still your friend.” Russell then shushed himself and turned in his chair to type on his computer and retrieve any information about the Bootstrap Device. Azian remained with Gordon, just running her fingers through his hair in worry. She had to admit, she grew attached.

He was young, perhaps thrown into constant battles without much of a break. There was only so much the human body could take before ultimately shutting down. Mother instincts were kicking in, as Azian remained by his side, occasionally making conversation with Russell about the past she had supposedly missed. City 17, and what the Combine were; playing catch up. What surprised her was the fact that it was based in a European setting. Some of her nightmares threw her into a European apartment complex, completely mind bent and full of illusions. 

A distorted funhouse.

Now she started to wonder - if she had been in the Vault that Russell said Alyx had gone into. The Vault had been built around these very same complexes in the QZ, potentially to house that government man as some sort of prison. Alyx had unwillingly stumbled upon that man thinking it was Gordon, thus began the beginning of the end. 

Now she was out there, floating in nothingness and in nowhere. If she was upon the Borealis, it would be such a miracle. Yet, they didn’t know what to expect when going there. Quietly getting up from the floor, Azian looked over to Russell.

“ _I’m going back upstairs to see if I could contact anyone at White Forest. Might be worth catching up with them too._ ” Getting a nod in response, Azian glanced momentarily to Gordon before heading back upstairs. As she opened the door, the dark-haired woman vented in as the Xenian flora was no longer around, and seemingly vanished during the time it took Russell and her to get Gordon down to the lab. Looking around the station, the young mother then shook her head and rubbed her temples.

She wasn’t even going to try to make sense of it.

Approaching up to the console, Azian turned on the frequencies, venting as it seemed the storm let up a bit enough to receive some other signals. In fact, one was being broadcasted to them. Turning the dial to the right just a bit, dark eyes blinked in surprise to what she heard. Could it be? Pressing the microphone’s button, the young mother then inhaled.

“ _Eli?_ ”

[... Azian?]

“ _... Some 12-hour shift, right?_ ” Azian couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes as the man on the other end sadly chuckled, yet entered into a more weeping state. Despite the signal cutting out here and there, she still managed to understand him.

[Where are you?]

“ _Gordon found me. Don’t ask me to explain how, though._ ”

[I… good god, Azian… it’s been _years_ …]

“ _... Eli… I saw everything. The best way I can explain it is… because I cared more about our daughter than my own life. As I should. You have taken care of her for the past… I don’t know how long, but I want to let you know that I’m glad you did. You’re an amazing father._ ” Azian softly smiled as she explained to him, listening to her husband try and contain his emotions of hearing his wife again. A long 20 years, perhaps more.

[... God, I _missed_ you.]

“ _I know… and I did too. I missed you so much, you don’t know how much it pained me to see your death. But he… he changed your fate._ ”

[... He has her, Azian. He has our baby.]

“ _And I’m damn determined to get her back, Eli. Or die trying._ ” Azian vented in and hung her head as the storm began to get worse again, and would likely cut the signal out soon. Softly inhaling and letting tears drip down her cheeks, she pressed the microphone again.

“ _I love you, Eli_.”

[... I-I l-love you--] 

Venting in as the signal cut out, Azian sighed heavily and let go of the microphone, hearing nothing but the filtered white noise of a dead signal. Turning off the console, the young mother then blinked as she heard Russell calling for her, and moved to return down to the basement.

“Okay, so I found only a couple of things related to what you were looking for. Turns out, the ship disappeared during the Combine invasion in the 7 Hour War. Sort of a panic button was released and  _zip_ , the ship’s gone. Looks like you were right when it could be involved with teleportation. But I don’t think it’s only just that. What if I told you the device could move through _time_ as well?”

“ _... time travel. You’re serious?_ ”

“Is it such a difficult concept to understand? Sure, teleportation is still kind of  _eh_ in it’s explanation, but surely your competition at Black Mesa managed to find a scientific discovery without realizing just how big it was.” Azian blinked and looked at his computer, reading over the information that was pulled up. Of course, it wasn’t a whole lot, after all, it was pulled from Combine databases so they were about as clueless as they were.

“ _... It could explain why Outpost 31’s residents came into contact with it several decades ago. It teleported and traveled back in time to that location of randomness, and probably ended up in hundreds of different places as well. If anything, it could end up here again, and that’s why the Combine is waiting for it. And if it gets here,_ **_we_ ** _can get on board and locate Alyx._ ”

“Seems like a plan! But, if the Combine knows it’s going to be here, you’re looking at quite a big force to keep you away from it. That sort of technology could potentially be the end of the human race as we know it.”

“That’s why he wanted it destroyed…” Lifting their heads to the voice, Azian glanced as Gordon slowly sat up on the couch, rubbing his head as it ached slightly. Slowly approaching and kneeling down to him, the young mother touched his arm.

“ _How do you feel? You went down hard, it worried me._ ” Azian watched as the other nodded before looking to her. Russell then got up from his seat and glanced at the two.

“So, the question still lingers if we are going to do this. You might only get one chance at this, to get in and grab Alyx and get out. But if the Combine gets hold of that technology--”

“ _We’re looking at another Black Mesa, or even another 7 Hour War. We won’t even last half that amount._ ” Azian sighed and stood up, lightly crossing her arms. It was definitely a risk, but it was a risk she wanted to take. Lightly inhaling, she then moved to pace the room a bit.

“ _... We have to get Alyx, there’s no doubt about that. If she’s on that ship. If not… then we’ll have a plan B. Plan B… I say we use the ship against the Combine. But right now… Plan A is to get Alyx and potentially destroy it._ ” Azian looked to the two men as they glanced to each other in wonder and hesitation before ultimately giving a nod of confirmation. 

“Right. Now, I may not be able to stay in direct contact with you two due to the storm but you’ll be able to stay into contact with each other. I’m sure his suit has radio transmission, so that just leaves you, my dear. Here you are.” Limping over to his desk, Russell then pulled out a headset for the young mother to use, gently placing it onto her head. Parting the hair out of her face, Azian blinked and adjusted the headset before looking to Gordon and testing it out.

[ _Can you hear me?_ ]

Blinking lightly, Gordon then nodded and gave a thumbs-up as he understood, leaving Azian to sigh in relief. Looks like they were prepared to go. As Gordon grabbed for his helmet, the young mother turned towards Russell, almost sad that they were going to leave again.

“ _Don’t you want to get out of here before shit hits the fan?_ ”

“Ah, I’ve seen my share of action back in the day. This makes no difference. Just… if you managed to get back to Eli or find Alyx aboard the Borealis… don’t forget to tell them I’m still around, you know. Maybe try and re-establish contact.”

“ _Of course, Russell. Thank you for your help._ ”

“Anytime. Good luck.”

Azian nodded before moving to head back upstairs; of course, she was scared of what might they stumble across on that ship - if they manage to even get on board. There was no telling of anything at that point. The first order of business was to actually arrive there, and with this storm continuously going haywire was not going to make things any easier. The dark-haired woman pulled up her scarf around her mouth and placed the goggles over her eyes to protect her from the elements as Gordon removed the shovel from the door handles, only to slightly flinch from the doors bursting wide open from the harsh winds.

Keeping one of the doors open for Azian to go through, the Freeman had followed after her towards the snowmobile to get on. Lightly holding onto the bar on the seat so she wouldn’t fall off, the dark-haired woman lightly adjusted the microphone on her head, clenching her eyes some as the frigid temperatures managed to sneak in through her scarf when she pulled it down. It felt like little needles hitting her in the face; no doubt leaving a red mark from enduring such cold. 

With the snowmobile starting up, the smaller scientist lightly leaned closer to Gordon as he drove, keeping an eye out for any potential danger. With the clouds overhead still providing a mosaic for the twilight sky, and snowfall spraying against them, Azian tried to make conversation with the Freeman. 

[ _Do you have any idea upon where the ship might land? Maybe coordinates?_ ] The dark-haired woman watched as the young physicist nodded before tapping on his helmet. Perhaps he had a map, or at least a compass manufactured into his helmet. Would have been wise to have such a feature, after all - where they were could easily render them lost without the proper equipment. To go blindly into this situation was risky in itself, but not having anything to pinpoint where you were was even worse.

[ _... I’m sure this isn’t the time to talk about it but… what happened in the station? What was he talking to you about?_ ] She waited for a response, venting in and gripping onto her seat tightly as they hit a small patch of uneven ice. Gordon simply shook his head wearily, trying to maintain balance on the vehicle once he got leveled.

[Don’t remember...]

[ _I heard him talking to you. After I entered the room you just collapsed. I was worried he might have done something to you._ ] The dark-haired woman gazed around, thankful that she didn’t spot the government man anywhere. Would he have known that she was here? Maybe perhaps forcing Freeman to be quiet about something? He didn’t seem like the man to threaten like that. Vaguely threaten, maybe, but not outright.

[ _Are you sure you’re alright? If you’re exhausted I can drive. You shouldn’t push yourself too hard, Gordon. God knows you’ve been through a lot._ ] Not getting a response, Azian then decided to keep quiet, keeping her face low but not too low to where she couldn’t see. She hung onto the seat bar, as her legs were starting to ache from straddling the seat. The bumps and vibrations were also making it hard to maintain a firm grip; if anything she’d be better off holding the Freeman from behind.

Still, it would have felt awkward to hug him like that - they weren’t that close. And the last few responses she received from him were giving her the sensation that he was getting… unimpressed by her presence. Looking around the area, Azian then squinted her eyes some as she saw something off in the distance.

Something green.

It looked like a ball of light, just moving through the icy terrain at roughly the same pace they were. Ball lightning? No, she didn’t see any flashes in the sky to indicate any lightning from this storm - just the consistent roar of thunder in the distance. Azian kept her eyesight on the green energy ball, wondering just what exactly it was. Soon, as quickly as it appeared, it faded from view, like a meteorite burning up in the atmosphere. 

Azian glanced over to Gordon, yet kept herself silenced, as she knew he wasn’t paying attention to such a phenomenon. What seemed like another hour of bumps and icy slides through the tundra, the young mother grunted as the Freeman forced a stop of the snowmobile, swerving a bit to the side. Trying to see what he was looking at, the dark-haired woman gasped in surprise at the large infrastructure before them. It looked like to be some sort of small base but extended walkway down into a large chasm.

[ _Is this it?_ ] Getting a nod out of the young physicist, Azian then followed him off of the vehicle once he cut the engines, hoping to limit anyone catching sight to their presence. No doubt, the ship had to be - or at least was going to be - down there. The blizzard hardly ceased letting up, threatening to knock the two down if they didn’t find the perfect stance to stand with, gazing to the Combine outpost. 

[ _Looks like it’s still occupied. We might be able to avoid a big fight if we find another way down into the chasm. We don’t want to alert them to our presence._ ] Gazing around the area, the young mother held up her arm to block the flurry of snow that kicked up towards them from the wind, finding another route downwards along the cliff-face. Deciding to use the ropes that were attached to her backpack, Azian drove a stake into the ground before providing emergency backup to attach to their vehicle.

Throwing the ropes over the edge, Azian watched as Gordon went down first, to make sure no attention was going to be on them as they descended. Watching him as he reached the bottom, or at least another cliff-face within the chasm, the young mother then moved to start descending as well, carefully gripping onto the rope with her gloved hands. While it was certainly hard due to exhaustion already setting in, she managed to make it down in one piece, thanking Freeman as he provided support once she got off, to make sure she didn’t fall backwards into the inevitable doom.

Side-stepping along the path, the young mother gazed within the chasm, spotting a few connecting bridges within, yet no sign of any ship that would have the Aperture Science logo. Heading inside a cave, Azian vented as it was quite warmer than it was outside, prompting her to lower her hood and scarf, while also lifting her goggles to see within the darkness. 

“ _It’s a bit dark in here…_ ” With that said, Azian smiled some as Gordon clicked on his flashlight, examining the icy caves within before bringing out his gun for good measure. The way the wind howled outside reverberated deep within the walls, providing a hollow tone to ring out around the environment. It was a bit disorienting, as if they could potentially get lost within. Once the bearded scientist made the first move, the dark-haired woman followed after, breathing out lightly to settle the dense heartbeat within her chest. Call it anxiety, or nervousness; she wasn’t too sure what to find down there.

More so of the fact that her daughter could be with this chasm or not - and the latter would honestly be more heartbreaking. If she wasn’t here, she could be anywhere. The two carefully descended further down into the caves, a bit concerned on their arrival not going noticed by the supposed Combine. Surely they would have set up perimeters, or had guards make their patrol around these parts before evidently alerting everyone else of Freeman and Vance’s presence. Still, no alarms came, and with those no alarms came no call for gunfire.

They couldn’t tell if that was a blessing or a curse.

They descended further, sliding down some steep slopes of ice that further dropped them down to where they needed to go. Various holes were in the cliff-face, big enough for the young mother to gaze out of, realizing that the more they went down into the chasm, the more that everything was made visible.

There was a lot more Combine technology within the walls; infrastructure, wiring, scaffolding… as if they planned on building a giant base within the next few months, if not sooner. Quietly moving to catch up with Gordon, Azian vented in as they reached an opening of the cave they were in, gasping at the sight before them. Submerged in ice, and heavily guarded of the few entrances they managed to make of it, lied a ship.

The Borealis.

So it was here all along. If anything, Alyx was on there; deep down she could feel it. Glancing over to Gordon, she watched as he left the opening to avoid anyone catching them observing, moving to head towards the right to see if they could find an easier and unattended opening. Further descending into the cave, Azian looked around before pausing as she spotted something off to her left, grabbing hold of Gordon’s arm to prevent him from going past.

Panning his flashlight over to it, Gordon released a hot vent of air as it was a steel door - frame slightly crusted over with ice. It looked like it had been there for years, yet wasn’t thick enough to prevent it from opening. Moving closer to the door, she touched the symbol that laid on the front of it.

“ _It’s the old Aperture Science logo… this is another entrance to the ship. The Combine must have missed this one._ ” Gazing back at the Freeman, Azian watched as he stepped forward before moving to clear the ice with his hands, finding a switch that seemingly still had power supplied into it. He then looked to the dark-haired woman for confirmation, that they were indeed going to go inside. Inhaling deeply, feeling her lungs ache slightly from the cold air, she then nodded, watching the young physicist soon press the switch, hearing the door creak and groan as it opened.

Lightly squinting her eyes, Azian stepped back as a blinding light shone within, forbidding the two from ever seeing what was inside at first glance. The young mother then took the first step inside, dark eyes squinting as it tried to adjust. Hearing the door close behind her, the young mother slowly lowered her hands, venting in shakily as she was now within the apartment she had seen in her dream, many nights ago.

“ _.... Gordon, I hope you’re seeing this._ ”

Feeling his presence approach, Gordon lightened the opacity of his shield mask, gazing at the sight before him. This was what he wasn’t expecting at all. This had to be an illusion, right? Azian started to hyperventilate, trying to focus on breathing.

“ _I’ve seen this place… in my dreams… I was here, I knew I was here. Why am I here?_ ” Azian panicked slightly, hearing the apartment complex creak and groan was unnerving to her. Every sound was accurate to what she heard back then, and she wondered if she had actually been here and it wasn’t just an ordinary nightmare. Inhaling deeply to calm herself, the young mother took off her fluffy coat and set it aside as the cold temperature of the frigid wasteland was no longer a threat. Lightly adjusting her headset and checking for the pistol in her holster around her leg, Azian then glanced over to Gordon as he gazed back at her.

“ _She has to be here somewhere. And if she’s here… he’s here too. We need to be careful and… prepare ourselves for anything to happen._ ” Nodding lightly, Gordon then brought out his own gun, moving to follow Azian as they made their way through the rooms, avoiding anything that they didn’t need. What concerned her the most was the distant sound of a piano playing, muffled, and somewhat distorted. As if anything couldn’t become more accurate of her nightmare, the young mother vented in as she opened a door and took a step back, fluttering her eyes as vertigo was setting in.

The room that was completely turned onto its side - now she remembered.

Gordon peeked in, amazed at the sudden change of gravitational pull. Was this really what his colleague dreamed about? This completely defies the laws of physics, yet it was… interesting and intriguing to say in the least. Now that the young physicist was experiencing it for himself, Azian couldn’t help but to feel a bit relieved. She wasn’t crazy - someone else was in her wacky dream. 

“ _This way…_ ” Azian stepped inside carefully, feeling the sudden shift in gravity and the overwhelming sense of being off-balance threw her equilibrium for a loop as they made their way across the landing. Hanging onto the wall lamps, the young mother flinched in surprise as something fell from the ceiling and smashed into the sideways piano, reverberating the dull, keynotes in the room. Nearly about to slip off herself, Azian gripped onto Gordon’s arm as he had caught her, pushing her back against the wall.

“ _... Thank you._ ” The young mother closed her eyes in relief before releasing the other’s arm, side-stepping along the landing before reaching the other door and pushing it open, sighing as it was upside down. Following after her, Gordon then flinched as a loud, distorted warp rang out in the room, watching silverware and cutlery begin to float in anti-gravity within the Khrushchyovka kitchen. What in the hell was going on? He’s never seen anything like it. Green eyes surveyed the environment before his hands moved to swipe the utensils away, to clear a path for them to move through.

Carefully, Azian stepped over a door frame and squeezed between the barriers of some dresses and wardrobes. Sidling through, the young mother reached for the door handle on the other side, pulling it open to reveal a right-side-up room now. She was relieved in a sense, but not exactly lowered her guard to the situation. Anything could still happen at this point.

Hearing the door slam shut after them, Azian looked around the room before gazing upwards, gasping as it was a complete mirror image, yet distorted. Windows were on the supposed upside-down floor, and doors were located on the walls. Tables and chairs were stacked on top of each other in anti-gravity, permanently glued to each other like some mirror.

It wasn’t until another distorted warp knocked their senses off some, and for the room to start rotating in a slow circle. Cups and plates rolled off countertops and smashed to the ceiling - or rather the floor - and Azian yelped as they were sliding as well. Grabbing onto the door frame, the young mother tried to grab hold of Gordon before he slipped off, calling out to him as she missed.

“ _Gordon!_ ” She yelled, venting as a distorted piano began to play again, signifying the very same panic Azian was experiencing as Gordon grabbed onto what was left of the floor before dropping into the rooms below. Yet, the whole complex was still turning, as if they were in one giant, rotating drum. Azian began to dangle from the doorframe she held onto, kicking her legs some as she tried to keep her grip. Still, the door was partly crushing her fingers from the hinges, making it hard to endure it much longer. She gritted her teeth to the pain, looking down at Gordon as he began to dangle too, having to drop his gun to save himself.

The gun hit the distant ground below and shot out the windows from the impact, as the sound of whipping winds from the outside storm began to turn the internal rooms into a practical vortex to file objects through like some sort of drain in a bathtub. 

“ _Hang on, Gordon!_ ” She called out through the wind current produced, grunting and whimpering some in pain to her fingers getting crushed by the door. Unable to endure it any longer, Azian screamed as she dropped, prompting Gordon to try and make a grab for her, only for the piece of floor he was holding onto breaking loose, and him falling that distance as well. Hitting the floor with a hard impact, the young mother panted hard and called out in pain as she had landed onto her shoulder, feeling it become dislocated.

Glancing over to the young physicist, Azian watched as he started sliding towards the window in the floor, causing her to act quickly and make a grab for him with her good arm, hissing in pain as some of the broken glass stabbed her in the abdomen. Adrenaline coursing through her, the young mother fought through the pain as she tried to pull him up, yet having trouble as the suit provided extra weight; using one arm wasn’t going to cut it.

Inhaling deeply, Azian tried to use her dislocated arm to grip onto him, hissing as the glass in her abdomen was shoved further deep, yet wasn’t comparable in pain to what she felt in her left arm. She screamed as she pulled him back up, fighting the wind current along with that. Gripping onto the window frame, Gordon used his strength to pull himself up as well as the room continued to rotate. Sliding along the floor and dodging the debris that filed into that hole, Azian clenched her eyes as tears escaped from them, the sheer pain making her tremble and shake. 

Grunting as he slid to the wall, Gordon had caught Azian before she could slam into it as well, saving her any more undesirable pain. Reaching up for the door handle, the young physicist had pulled the young mother through once it opened, going back to equal ground.

Panting hard, the Freeman gazed over to his former colleague with concern as she cried in pain, holding her left shoulder. He could see it was dislocated; the way it looked made him cringe in slight residual pain himself. She didn’t have an H.E.V. suit as he did - and couldn’t be pumped full of morphine to subdue the pain. No, she had to pop it back into place.

“ _Get me… get me something to bite on…_ ” Azian panted out as she felt woozy, hyperventilating too much was going to get her to pass out before she’d have a chance to deal with the task at hand. Grabbing a piece of board, Gordon placed it between her teeth as the young mother bit down hard as she grabbed onto her shoulder. Breathing in and out to calm herself, and more so to count down when she was going to do it, Azian clenched her dark eyes shut before moving her shoulder back into place, hearing an audible pop, followed by extreme pain.

“Fuck…” Gordon cringed and softly spoke out as the dark-haired woman cried out, muffled through the object between her teeth, as she popped her shoulder back into place. It was likely fractured, but she wouldn’t call it broken. Releasing the piece of wood from her mouth, Azian laid there on the floor exhaustively, keeping her eyes closed to let her body adjust to the trauma she just went through. 

“ _... Okay… help me up…_ ” Lifting her good arm, Azian grunted as she was carefully helped up onto her feet, gazing to the glass that was lodged in her sweater, beginning to pick them out and toss them to the floor. She then gazed up to Gordon, who was simply watching in concern. Panting shallowly, the young mother than smiled wearily to him.

“ _... Childbirth… is way more painful than this…_ ” Lightly slurring her words a bit, Azian then looked to the hallway in front of them, spotting a door on the other end. Deep down, she could have sworn she heard a familiar music box, yet Gordon made no mention of it. Was she the only one that could hear it.

“ _... She’s close… I can feel her…_ ” The young mother vented in and began to limp towards the door, with Gordon following behind her. She was truly the stronger one here; if she had a chance at Black Mesa, he was sure of her own survival. Approaching the door, the dark-haired woman then gazed to the Freeman before opening it and stepping through, squinting her eyes as a blinding light came over them. Stepping further inside, Azian then blinked as she heard the door slam shut behind her, and no longer felt the presence of the young physicist.

_"Gordon? ..._ [ _Gordon? Come in Gordon._ ]" Lightly pressing the headset to broadcast, Azian vented in as only static returned, or perhaps not even that. Where would the Freeman had gone? Looking around as the white light faded, the young mother vented in as she was surrounded in darkness, much like before. Was this it? Was she here? Lightly swallowing the saliva that pooled in her mouth, the dark-haired woman limped forward some, her steps echoing in that perpetuation. Turning around some as she surveyed the area, dark eyes then soon settled upon the broad backside of the man she had been wanting to encounter.

“ **_... All mothers are quite persistent; is what I’ve come to observe._ **” Lightly curling his fingers into fists, the navy-blue suited man then slowly began to turn towards her, deep blue eyes settling on her dark ones. Lightly venting in and holding her arm, Azian watched as he lowered his head some, eyes beginning to illuminate a desired glow.

“ **_But you are something else._ **”

“ _W-Where is she…?_ ” 

“ **_My eh-eh-eh-employers have not authorized me to relay such information towards… well, the alternative end of circumstances. Your arrival to their place of virtue reflects poorly on my previous decisions to save your daughter and in return prevent you from… interfering much longer._ **”

“ _Cut the bullshit… Y-You made a loophole._ ”

“ **_I gave her the same choice I gave you, Mrs. Vance. You are the one that refuses to see through the… hm, parallels. To save her father meant a change of progression for certain others of our employment, and guaranteed their destination and method of taking action. Unfortunately, due to my loose ends, your very existence here compromises those actions._ **” The government man began to approach her before splitting into multiples of himself, each walking off in their respective directions before phasing out of view. Grunting slightly as her left arm ached with sore pain, Azian glanced around for the man, hearing the footfall of his Oxford’s echoing around the nothingness.

“ _That was your own fault. If you truly didn’t want me to interfere, you wouldn’t have let me slip through those cracks._ ” 

" _ **Interference comes in many ways, Mrs. Vance. Through others. Like me…**_ " Appearing beside her and catching her off guard, the government man then slowly walked off into the darkness before another had appeared on her right, except this time, it was the perfect image of Russell.

"Like me." She vented lightly as Russell examined her before walking off into the very same darkness, before another familiar voice was heard behind her, causing her to whip around and look.

"Like me…" Gordon stood and gazed at her within the H.E.V. suit before the young physicist had too walked off into the perpetual vantablack.

"Azian." Pausing in place, she then wearily gazed to the outline of her husband, who slowly reached out his arms. Yet, uncomfortably so, as his eyes were illuminated to that very same desirable blue, as the others slowly approached up next to him, side by side. 

" _ **Like us.**_ " The government man's voice rang out in echoes, prompting the young mother to grip her hair in frustration.

" _Stop it! What do you want from me?!_ " Azian clenched her eyes shut, hanging her head as he was messing with her psyche. Once the figures had dissipated within that darkness, she slowly opened her eyes to the sound of the bureaucratic man's gentle, breathless laugh. 

" _ **Mrs. Vance, it has never been about what I want from you. Deep down, you've recognized your daughter's… talents, yet you refuse to acknowledge any part of her that can benefit the world and those who hold it within their hands.**_ " Panting sneakily, Azian softly sat onto her knees due to exhaustion, looking as a familiar scene began to play out. The day of the Black Mesa incident, she was asleep in bed, undisturbed and peaceful. A night she finally could rest. However, beside her wasn't her husband, but rather the government man himself. A tender hand had settled upon her head, as objects around the room were levitating in anti-gravity. He then glanced towards a place in the room and vanished, causing the objects to fall back into their original position with a thud, prompting Azian to finally wake from her slumber and gaze to the clock on her nightstand. 

8:47 am.

" _... Why are you showing me this…?_ "

" _ **Read into the fine details, Mrs. Vance.**_ " As the scene sped up to her making breakfast for her youngling, she had her back turned to the scene of Alyx standing up on her own two feet, staring up at the ceiling before glancing to the government man that phased into view, offering her a toy that lifted in that buoyancy. Then, as the Resonance Cascade happened, Alyx gazed over to her mother, promptly stopping the creature that threatened to latch onto her head.

" _... she… saved me? Not you?_ " The government man phased into view from his counterpart of the past memory, lightly pressing his fingers together. He then slowly gazed down at the child who was threatened to be crushed under the weight of debris before humming.

" _ **While I could not prevent you from slipping through the cracks, she saw fit to… prevent your part of the bargain. Allowance for third party interference that I had not thought previously could come to be. Extraordinary value; rewriting the deal before it could be pursued and contemplated.**_ " The bureaucratic man then waved his hand towards the scene to diminish the properties, particles drifting off into that same nothingness before his hands folded together. Deep blue eyes returned to gaze at the mother before him, who was still present on her knees, holding her sore arm.

" _ **My eh-eh-eh-employers were more than impressed by what she had to… offer. Yet, she was still too young for comprehension. I had to wait, until she was… occupied, by the sheer moment of her father's unexpected death. Where her comprehension of her true abilities were still… undetermined, yet a sneaking suspicion. And now… by all accords of the consequences of her actions… she is now under our control. Made fruitful by her choice, and her choice alone.**_ " Approaching Azian as she slowly stood, the G-man lightly leaned down to her.

" _ **She's in good hands. Like I promised. She was not forced into anything she did not want. She simply… misunderstands, the situation. Like daughter, like mother.**_ " Straightening his pose, the government man then turned to walk away from her, before pausing and returning his hands to his side's.

" _ **And now, in this current state of mind… cognitive dissonance was believed to be fruitful. Neither of this is real to you. No true harm ever came to you; you could never truly do any harm to others. Detained, and subsequently dismissed. Your role was non-existent to a resistant cause, as it should have been.**_ "

" _... this is a dream?_ " Azian vented in softly as the other explained to her, feeling tears drip down her face. The pale man slowly turned back to her, before momentarily looking to the floor as Xenian flora began to sprout a path between them. A beautiful array of colors, consisting of more than the spectrum she was used to. The darkness crumbled like pixelations on a computer, revealing an even more color-bending sky. They blended into pastels, neons, neutrals, and brights, rotating their colors through each cycle within the seconds that ticked by. 

The government man looked as Azian's wardrobe had changed as well; a simple silk nightdress to what she had previously worn before, a delicate, satin red robe to line her shoulders. Instead of the dreadfully cold colors that were the winter attire when traversing the arctic landscape. Quietly humming, the bureaucratic man then adjusted his tie to a more tighter feel before looking upward, as if receiving a message from an unknown individual. 

" _ **This is where I get off.**_ " Looking as his briefcase floated towards him from his right, the government man caught it delicately in his fingers around the handle, before slowly turning to leave the young mother in her current standing. A doorway opened, a bright, white light to flood inside as he turned momentarily to Azian one last time. She could have sworn he gave her a subtle nod, as if it was a trick of the light, before he entered that doorway, and her world to turn the same bright white.

**SUBJECT: AZIAN VANCE**

**STATUS: DETAINED**

**FURTHER EVALUATION PENDING**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this short series based on my edition of Azian Vance as we don't see much mention of her other than she didn't survive Black Mesa. I want to thank you for all the support I've received over time and really appreciate the feedback. <:


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